Let's Fall In Love
by masruiiiik
Summary: The player Sasori falls for an innocent blonde. The non-believer Kakuzu finds himself thinking of a foul-mouthed idiot. Saint-like Kisame falls head-over-heels for a stoic Uchiha and Pain's just trying to move on when Konan breaks up with him. Love sucks. DISCONTINUED.
1. Love Sucks

**Let's Fall in Love**_****_

CHAPTER 1: Love Sucks

Pain sat across from Konan and twitched slightly. Playing with one of his nose piercings, he sighed and looked around. The fancy restaurant that they were at was just…too fancy. There were sweet smelling candles at seemingly everywhere, vases with roses and lilacs and tulips and other such flowers decorated every corner of the room, and all in all, Pain just felt very out-of-place there in his jeans, rumpled t-shirt and worn sneakers.

Konan continued to glance through the menu (even _that_ looked horrendously expensive!) and sighed. She looked up at Pain before asking in a slightly bland tone, "What do you want?"

Pain played with his nose piercing in a more frantic manner and leafed through the menu. "I don't know." He groaned silently as the classic music wafted through the air. He knew it was a mistake to bring them here for their four year anniversary! "What do you want?"

Suddenly, she slammed her menu closed abruptly and stared at Pain with frantic amber eyes. "I want to break up."

-o-

"And that's how it happened." Pain moaned while clutching at the bottle of beer held in his hands.

Hidan was laughing away like a madman as Pain retold the sad tale. Sasori's eyebrows were raised and his mouth twitched slightly, indicating his need to laugh, but luckily for Pain, the redhead managed the restrain the need. Kisame looked sympathetic as the heavily-pierced man continued to chug down the watered down beer like his last life-source and Kakuzu just looked bored.

"So she just broke up with you? Just like that?" Sasori asked his best friend and Pain groaned in agony.

"Sorry, man," Kisame offered pathetically. "How long have you two been together again?"

Pain hiccupped. "Four years…exactly four years. She broke up with me! On our four-year anniversary…she broke up with me!"

Sasori sighed and rubbed at his messy red hair as Hidan howled away, loving the way his usually cool and collected friend was acting like a desperate idiot. In fact, the albino actually whipped out a camera and started taking picture after picture of the bumbling auburn-haired man.

"Stop acting so pathetic," Sasori said. "It's embarrassing…" He looked around the bar they were sitting in, and just smirked at all the girls that were looking their way, winking a few times.

"I'm not acting pathetic…" Pain mumbled. "It's just…she broke up with me! I thought she loved me!"

"I feel for you, man," Kisame said, patting Pain on the back. Kakuzu snorted.

"I warned you this would happen," Kakuzu mentioned unhelpfully. "Love never lasts."

Pain howled harder. Hidan began laughing even louder, and gave up taking photos since his hands kept shaking as his body was wracked with guffaws. He began taking videos instead.

"Seriously Kakuzu, you're not helping, so shut up." Kisame said. Reaching over to Hidan and ignoring the glare Kakuzu was sending him, the blue-tinted man began wrestling with the albino. "And stop taking pictures!" He said as he tried to pry the camera from Hidan's grasp.

"Oh Jashin, this is priceless!" Hidan said. So filled with glee, he even granted his closest friends with a non-explicit sentence. Of course, the shining moment quickly ended as Hidan opened his mouth again, "I'm…I'm gonna fucking post this shit on the internet. Fuck!"

Sasori groaned and looked down at the beer bottle in his hands. He loved his friends; really, it was tough love, but this? This was just embarrassing. Looking around and basically pretending that he didn't know the people he was sitting in a table with, his brown eyes caught sight of a pretty brunette wearing a sparkly silver dress. He looked at Kakuzu, seeing as he was the only other person on the table not crying, wrestling, cursing, laughing like a madman or taking pictures, and said, "I'm gonna go. See you guys later."

Kakuzu just nodded. This wasn't exactly new, and he watched as his redheaded friend made his way up to the brunette and began making small talk with her. The brunette was blushing and giggling and Sasori leaned down to whisper something in her ear. The pretty girl flushed even harder before nodding, and the two of them made their way out of the bar.

Kakuzu snorted again.

There goes another girl who couldn't resist Sasori's charm. Whipping out a notebook, he flipped through several pages before adding another tick. Without keeping tally, Kakuzu would have probably lost count of all the girls (and boys) Sasori had sex with. This was the…Kakuzu flipped through almost half the book before sighing and rubbing his head. That was a lot of tallies.

There was a cry of triumph and Kakuzu looked over. Kisame was sitting on top of Hidan and the albino was turning red in the face from either anger or suffocation while cursing up a storm. It seemed that Kisame had finally managed to wrestle the camera out of Hidan and was deleting every picture and video that the albino had taken. "I'll be keeping this." Kisame said before pocketing the camera and going back to his seat. Hidan was wheezing for breath and cursing between every pant.

Kisame noticed Sasori's empty seat but said nothing. The saint-like man didn't exactly approve of Sasori's…ways, but he refrained from saying anything. He was just nice like that. Pain was still wailing over his beer bottle and the side of the table he was at was quickly becoming really wet.

Kakuzu sighed. "You gonna drive him home?" He asked Kisame. Kisame glanced at the wet bundle that was his friend before nodding.

"I guess. I mean, you have to drive Hidan home, right? And I don't exactly trust Pain to be able to drive himself home right now…"

"He'd probably drive off a cliff in an attempt of suicide." Kakuzu stated simply and Kisame gasped in shock at Kakuzu's blatant words.

"Kakuzu! Don't say that!" Kakuzu just shrugged. It was true. He didn't exactly know what state his friend was in right now, and he'd rather not pick up the newspaper tomorrow to see the headlines, 'SUICIDAL MAN DROVE OFF CLIFF BECAUSE HIS GIRLFRIEND BROKE UP WITH HIM AFTER BEING TOGETHER FOR FOUR YEARS. WHAT A BITCH'. Or something like that.

Hidan finally calmed down and looked at where Sasori used to be. "Where'd Red go?"

Kakuzu shot him a dull look. "Where do you think?"

"Ah. Went to fuck someone else, eh? Who's the fucker this time? Boy or girl?" Hidan asked while chugging down a bottle of beer. Kisame sighed and drank his cup of water. He refrained himself from drinking, didn't want to drink and drive after all.

"Girl." Kakuzu replied and Hidan nodded sagely while stroking a nonexistent beard.

"How many people has 'Sori fucked by now?" Kakuzu whipped out the notebook and tossed it at the Jashinist's head. Hidan raised a brow and opened the book to the first page. Bold letters met his eyes. 'HOW MANY PEOPLE SASORI'S HAD SEX WITH'.

Hidan whistled as he leafed through the book. "Man, you're more lifeless that I thought, asshole." Kakuzu ignored him and crossed him arms. "Jashin, there has to be more than a hundred fucking tallies in this thing!"

Kisame raised a brow while Kakuzu shrugged. "Just keeping track of how many hearts Sasori broke."

Hidan turned back to the first page to begin counting properly the number of tallies and Kisame shook his head. "You're such a non-believer, man." He said to Kakuzu. The brunette man shrugged again. So what if he was?

"So what if I am?" Kakuzu shot back. "'Love' doesn't last anymore. Everyone's cheating on each other, or getting divorced, or using each other for sex." Here, his strange green eyes flickered pointedly at Sasori's empty chair.

Kisame sighed and glanced back at Pain, slightly worried since he hadn't heard the pierced-man wail in a while. Pain's head was resting face-down on the table with his arms splayed on the tabletop. The auburn-haired man let out a snort. Kisame chuckled, Pain was obviously asleep.

"Well, I guess I'll be going now." Kisame said. He heaved Pain up and allowed the man to rest and lean on him. Kakuzu nodded and lifted up his hand in a lazy wave and Hidan continued chuckling still.

"See ya, fucker!" The platinum-blonde haired man said merrily with a happy wave. Kisame smiled and waved back before dragging Pain out the door and into the night.

Kakuzu glanced at Hidan before asking, "You ready to go yet?"

Hidan stared at the older man before breaking out into crazed laughter again, his whole form shaking. "Are you crazy, old man? I've only had six fucking bottles, I can continue for a long fucking time."

Kakuzu rolled his eyes as Hidan waved over a waitress and ordered another drink. After another seven bottles, Hidan slumped over like Pain did before him, snoring and snorting at random intervals. Kakuzu snorted in disgust and disbelief as his friend began drooling on the table.

He waved over a waitress and she came with the bill. Kakuzu calmly picked up the black tray and glanced down the long sheet of paper. Seeing the total, Kakuzu silently placed the bill back onto the table and began to wring the unconscious man's neck.

Needless to say, Hidan wasn't exactly a happy camper when he awoke again.

-o-

"But I really love her, you know…" Pain, who happened to be completely heartbroken and slightly drunk, mumbled in a daze as he continued to lean onto Kisame. The blue-tinted man grunted and fumbled with Pain's keys before managing to open the heavy apartment door with one hand.

"And she told me she loved me too! I…I thought we'd spend forever together, ya know? I wanted to marry her, and have her kids…and have hot…hot…sex with her everyday…" Pain mumbled and Kisame flushed slightly. "We've only had sex on the bed…but I planned for us to have it on the floor, and wall…and…and a desk…and maybe some in the bathroom…and…and…"

"Okay! We're home!" Kisame said and unceremoniously dumped the drunken man onto his worn and tattered couch. Pain flopped over uselessly and Kisame couldn't help but face-palm himself.

"So Pain, it's late and I'll be going home now, alright? Call if you need anything." Kisame lumbered to the door and Pain grumbled a farewell and curling up into a ball on the couch. "Lock the door and just call if anything happens, okay man?" Pain nodded and Kisame closed the door gently behind him before making his way to the elevators.

He waited a bit and then an elevator arrived and he stepped in. Halfway down to the ground level, his cell phone began to buzz and he whipped it out. "Hello?"

"Kisame…" He heard Pain moan from the other end. "I need a glass of water…"

Kisame sighed and flipped closed the phone before pressing the twentieth story button and waiting for the elevator to go up again. Once there, he walked to Pain's door and simply opened the door (Pain neglected to lock it) and walked in. Seeing Pain still in the same pathetic position he was in before, Kisame walked into the kitchen, got out a glass and poured some water in it. Trying carefully to not spill anything, he walked back to the living room and gave Pain the glass before waving and leaving again. "Lock the damn door!"

"Nrghh…"

He got into the elevator again, and once he made it to the ground floor, his cell phone rang again. "What?" Kisame asked, knowing it was Pain.

"Kisame…I vomited all over the floooor…" Pain grumbled.

Kisame groaned but nonetheless, pressed the elevator button again and got to the twentieth floor. Opening Pain's door, he stepped inside and saw the puddle on his friend's hardwood floor. Grabbing a mop and pail and wet rag (he'd been to Pain's house enough to know where everything is) and cleaned up the mess.

Once cleaned, Kisame stood up with a groan. He was exhausted. Looking over, he saw that the auburn-haired man was asleep with vomit all over his face. Groaning again, he stumbled into the bathroom, retrieved a wet cloth, went back and proceeded to clean his friend's face. Once his face was all cleaned up again, Kisame threw the cloth into the dirty pile on top of the washer, and promised himself he'd make sure Pain cleaned that soon. Opening the door, Kisame lumbered out and left the apartment complex.

Halfway home, his cell phone began to ring again. Sighing silently, he whipped out the phone and kept one hand on the steering wheel. "Pain? What is it?"

"Kisame…" He heard his friend groan out, "I'm cold…"

"ARGHHH!" Kisame gave out a barbaric shout.

-o-

"Pain?" Kisame asked, wandering into his friend's apartment again.

"Kisame…I'm cold…" Pain said, and Kisame sighed and heaved Pain off the couch. He dragged the shorter man into his room before dumping him into the bed. He dragged the covers over the sleeping man and made sure Pain was all tucked in and comfortable before making his way into the living room.

Deducing it as impossible to make it back home right now, Kisame just sprawled out on the couch with a moan as the bones in practically every part of his body cracked and creaked painfully. Making himself comfortable, he curled up and closed his eyes, prepared to go to sleep at any second.

"…Kisame?" Pain's voice echoed from his room. Kisame rubbed his eyes and pried them open before rolling over.

"What is it now?" Kisame asked loudly.

"Kisame…love sucks…" Pain stated simply before falling asleep.

Kisame just sighed. "Pain, shut up…you're starting to sound like Kakuzu…"

-o-

**Hi guys! Hope you enjoyed the first chapter. And yes, I know that some (**_**most**_**) characters are OOC, but that's how I kinda intended them to be. Yes, I meant for Sasori to be a total man whore, yes I planned for Kisame to be the total caring/compassionate/animal-loving best friend, yes I planned for Pain to be a stumbling, depressed, sad fool…but no worries! They'll still retain some of their canon traits!**

**This story is kinda based on the movie, 'Crazy, Stupid Love' so some parts may seem familiar to anyone who's seen the movie, like, for example, the beginning when Konan broke up with Pain. But I'll be changing a lot of things as well, so be prepared for that!**

**I'll try to update as soon as possible, since it is still the summer (though it's almost over…sobsobsob) but my volunteer and work hours may get in the way so I don't know how frequent the updates will be. Most likely, they'll be infrequent, so I don't know…but I'll try to get the next chapter up as soon as possible! Believe it! coughcoughcough…Ahem…sorry 'bout that…**

**If you liked it, please leave a review or some constructive criticism! Flames are allowed if there's a good reason for it (please refrain from flaming me about their OOCness…I've explained it in the paragraph several paragraphs before this). If you're flaming just for the heck of flaming…well, take your flames and get the heck outta here! :D**

**See you guys next time!**

**Hugs, hugs and more hugs,**

**Harmony**


	2. Blonde Angel

**Ohmigosh! Eleven reviews on the first day this story was posted, Yay! You don't know how happy you guys made me. Thank you guys! This was a (really) quick update, but it's just because I already had this all written out. I don't think I'll have chapter three out as early as this but…oh well. Here's the next chapter, hope you enjoy!**

CHAPTER 2: Blonde Angel

"I feel horrible," Pain moaned into the phone. He was sitting on his tattered couch, watching _Dear John_, eating out of an ice cream carton, and basically acting like a pathetic pile of heartbroken goo. Kisame had left earlier that day, moaning about an aching back (he slept over on the couch) and grumbling about how lucky Pain was to have a friend like him.

When Kisame questioned him if he felt alright, Pain just nodded and shooed Kisame out of the house. But once the blue-tinted man left, Pain crumbled and became a sobby mess. Feeling more alone than ever, he had whipped out the phone and called Sasori.

"It…it hurts…" Pain sniffled and he heard Sasori scoff on the other end.

"Stop acting so…un-Pain-like."

"I can't help it…" Sniffle, sniffle, sniffle.

"Get a hold of yourself. You want to show Konan that you're a man, right? You want to show her that you're not affected by this, don't you? I mean, she's not the only hot babe out there, there're so many other beautiful girls! You're only twenty-four, Pain; she's not the only one out there. Move around, have some fun. Move on." Sasori said sternly and Pain heard the distant sound of music from the redhead's end.

"I guess you have a point…" Pain mumbled.

"Of course I do! Now drop the ice cream, turn off whatever chick flick you're watching and go out and live your nonexistent life!" Sasori snapped impatiently.

"I'm not eating ice cream or watching a chick flick," Pain said defensively and he could practically feel Sasori roll his eyes.

"Sure you're not," He said sarcastically and there was a brief silence where all Pain heard was the thumping beat of a song. "Look, I gotta go, alright? I'll talk to you later."

"Bye…" Pain said, and Sasori hung up. Looking down at the carton he held in his hands, he shrugged and ate another spoonful. He'd rather not waste it.

-o-

Sasori sat at the bar, taking a sip out of the margarita held in his hand. He had his cell phone pressed against his ear, and he winced slightly every time he heard his best friend sniffle.

"Move on." Sasori said simply. He looked around the bar, checking out practically everyone. His eyes lingered on some of the tall girls on even taller heels, more prominently, his gaze wandered to their backside, but none of them in particular caught his eye.

Pain mumbled something and Sasori rolled his eyes, "Of course I do! Now drop the ice cream, turn off whatever chick flick you're watching and go out and live your nonexistent life!"

"I'm not eating ice cream or watching a chick flick…" He heard his friend mutter and Sasori rolled his eyes again.

"Sure you're not…" He said, and his eyes caught sight of a beautiful blonde sitting on one of the tables with a dark-haired male. The blonde's long hair looked silky and smooth, and their one visible wide, blue eye shone under the artificial lighting of the bar. Their milky skin looked smooth to the touch, and Sasori found himself drawn to the blonde. "Look, I gotta go, alright? I'll talk to you later." Sasori said distractedly, and he heard Pain mumble a farewell before hanging up.

Lifting the margarita to his lips, he took another sip as his eyes continued to linger on the blonde.

-o-

"I just can't seem to find the right guy, ya know, yeah?" Deidara said while playing with the can of coke. "I mean, I just don't feel a spark with…any of them! It's so not fair, yeah! I mean, look at Konan. Don't you think she and Pain are perfect for each other? Yet she broke up with him. What was she thinking, yeah? She'll probably never find someone like him ever again. If I ever found my soul-mate, I would never, ever, ever break up with him, yeah."

"Him?" Itachi asked with a really light smile on his pale lips.

Deidara flushed. "Them. I mean them, yeah."

"You've never even met Pain before, how do you know that he and Konan are perfect for each other?" Itachi pointed out.

"Well, just hearing all those stories she tells us about him, and seeing their pictures…they're made for each other, yeah!" Deidara proclaimed.

Itachi just shook his head at his friend and gave a tiny sigh, "I don't think I'm the person you should be telling this to." He said bluntly and Deidara groaned while playing with a few strands of golden hair.

"I _know_," Deidara said exasperatedly, "and I'd be telling Konan this, but you know her! She's just been moping ever since she and Pain broke up, and may I add, _she's_ the one that broke up with him, yeah!"

"Is there a point in your speech?" Itachi asked with an eye roll.

"Yes, yes there is, yeah!" Deidara exclaimed with hand flaps that resembled a flailing duck. "The subtext of this is that breaking up with Pain isn't exactly Konan's brightest moment. We both know that she still loves him, so why the hell did they break up? And the actual point is that I can't find my soul-mate, yeah. It's not fair. I'm not getting any younger, you know!"

Itachi sighed as his blonde friend continued to melodramatically shout out his woes. He suddenly looked over Deidara's shoulder and interrupted him with an air of nonchalance. "Redhead making his way over…don't look." He added as Deidara was about to turn his head to look.

Deidara just stared at the Uchiha while fiddling with the straw stuck into his can of pop. He saw a shadow loom over him and quickly began talking to Itachi, "So, mushrooms, huh, yeah?"

Itachi just shot him a slightly confused look before glancing over Deidara's head and asking the redhead, "Can we help you?"

Deidara looked slightly nervous as he heard the apparent redhead speak, "Yes, can I sit?" Deidara saw his friend raise a brow, but apparently the stranger took that as an invite and pulled out one of the extra chairs and sat down on it.

Deidara looked up and gave the stranger a look-over. The man looked to be about his height, maybe slightly taller. His messy, ruffled red hair flopped over his big brown eyes, which was slightly lidded. The redhead had delicate features, a small nose and a mouth that was currently smirking. He was dressed in designer clothing which complimented his form nicely, and he was lightly holding a glass of what looked to be, margarita.

Deidara's blue eyes drifted back up to the stranger's face, and it seemed as if the redhead knew he was checking him out, because he winked at the blonde, who blushed in return. Itachi watched all of this with a stoic expression.

The redhead grinned at Deidara before sticking out his free hand, "Hi, my name's Sasori, what's yours, sexy?"

Deidara flushed even harder and stared cautiously at Sasori's hand. Finally, he stuck his smaller hand out and gently shook the redhead's. "My name's Deidara, it's nice to meet you, yeah…"

Sasori grinned before leaning back on his chair, now completely facing Deidara with his back turned to Itachi. "I was sitting there," he began, pointing at the bar where he had been seated in, "and I just couldn't seem to take me eyes off of you. You're really beautiful, you know that?"

The blonde blushed even harder. "Um…right…I don't know if you know this, but I'm a guy, yeah."

Sasori blinked before smirking even wider. "Oh that's fine. I swing both ways." Deidara flushed a deeper shade of red (he seemed to be doing that a lot) and Itachi actually grinned.

"You wanna go back to my place…watch a movie, maybe have some…_fun_?" Sasori asked, leaning forward so he could more or less feel Deidara's erratic breathing brush against his cheeks.

"That…that was a really bad innuendo." Deidara offered meekly, looking down so he couldn't see the intense brown eyes. His breathing was growing increasingly rapid, and his heart was pounding loudly in his ears.

"Was it now? I guess I'll have to work on it, then." Sasori whispered seductively into Deidara's ear, blowing softly and watching in amusement as the soft hairs resting on the rim of his earlobe stood up.

Deidara suddenly stood up, face so red and heated, he was sure his head would explode any minute and small, bloody Deidara bits would end up flying everywhere. "I have to go, yeah." He managed to gasp out, grabbing his coat and putting it on swiftly. "Itachi? You coming?"

Sasori watched as Itachi chuckled in vague amusement and stood up, following his blonde friend. The redhead's eyes lingered on Deidara's retreating form until he couldn't see him anymore.

Sasori chuckled. He had to see the blonde again; he was just too amusing to watch and tease.

-o-

Pain rolled over with a groan, wondering what the hell woke him up. Another round of knocks on his front door snapped him out of his funk, and he lumbered to his front hall. He opened the door and saw Konan standing on the other side. He stared at her for around two seconds before suddenly closing the door again.

He just stared at the closed door with erratic breathing as he listened to Konan continue to pound on the door. "Pain? Pain! Open the door!" He heard her stern voice drift from the other side.

Pain sighed before gently twisting the doorknob and peeking out. "What?" He squeaked in a high pitch tone. Clearing his throat, he deepened his voice, "What?"

"Um right…" Konan looked slightly awkward as she brushed a few strands of blue hair out of her face. "I just came back to get some things I left here…at your place." She lifted up a cardboard box in proof.

Pain coughed lightly and moved to the side. "Come on in."

"Thanks." She nodded and moved inside, swiftly entering. She looked around briefly before making a bee-line to Pain's room, knowing exactly where it is (and Pain winced slightly at _how_ she knew where it is).

He followed her and watched as she placed ornaments and other objects into the box. She looked extremely awkward and kept her eyes averted from Pain. "I…I'm really sorry for breaking up so abruptly with you," she offered. "And on our anniversary…I don't know what the hell I was thinking. It's just…I feel like we're not trying anymore, you know? Every kiss just seems so routine, like we're only doing it for the sake of doing it and there's just no meaning behind it anymore."

As she continued to ramble, Pain remained silent, praying for Konan to hurry up and leave. "Are you done yet?" He asked rudely, and instantly regretted it when Konan's face fell.

"I think so." She whispered and glanced at the half-empty box. "I guess I'll be going now."

Pain didn't stop her as she made her way quickly out of the apartment and didn't even seem fazed as the door slammed shut, loudly. Instead, he stood there for a bit before scowling slightly and flopping down on his too-cold bed.

Routine? _Routine?_ It wasn't routine! Every time he kissed her, or told her he loved her, he meant it! And she said it was routine and there was no meaning behind it? Bullshit!

Pain growled and shut his eyes tight, rolling over and wishing that the he'd either fall asleep and never wake up, or that the Earth would suddenly open up and swallow him whole.

-o-

**Um…I've never been good with introducing characters to other characters (did that make sense?) so I hope I did at least a decent…readable… introduction between Sasori and Deidara. If not, sorry! I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, and I'll update as soon as possible. :]**

**Love,**

**Harmony**


	3. Burn, Baby, Burn

**Super-fast-chapter-update jutsu (for me anyways)…yeah!**

**This chapter is officially dedicated to ****DancingPinkCows**** for leaving me the best review I've ever received in my life! Thank you!**

**And thank you everyone else as well for leaving me such awesome reviews and favourites and subscriptions. Thank you guys soooo much!**

**Enjoy chapter three!**

CHAPTER 3: Burn, Baby, Burn

"He was watching _Dear John_."

"Pathetic…"

"Oh come on guys, Konan just broke up with him! I think he deserves to mope around a bit and watch some chick flicks and eat…triple chocolate fudge ice cream (are those rainbow sprinkles? Ahem…) without being mocked…"

"I think he's drowning in his own fucking drool!"

Pain slowly opened his eyes to see his four friends' faces leaning dangerously close to his own. He blinked owlishly at them and they stared back before the pierced-man rolled out of bed with a groan.

"Hey guys, what're you doing here?" Pain asked and Hidan leaned back, wincing slightly.

"Morning breath, asshole! You smell like Kakuzu's shit!" Kakuzu punched him, hard.

Pain sighed and rubbed the back of his neck, "Thanks…I think…"

Sasori was leaning against his nightstand with a slight frown marring his face. Pain looked down to see his redheaded friend clutching a DVD case that clearly read _Dear John_ on the front. The auburn-haired man had the grace to blush.

"I thought you said you weren't watching a chick flick or eating ice cream out of a carton." Sasori stated simply with a non-amused eyebrow raise.

"I…I stopped halfway through the movie…" Pain mumbled while playing with one of his nose piercings. Sasori and Hidan both shot him incredulous looks while Kakuzu rolled his eyes and Kisame looked like he was about to burst out laughing at any moment.

"…Fine. I watched the whole movie…" The eyebrows continued to stay up and Pain sighed in resignation. "Fine! I watched the whole damn movie, four fucking times!"

Sasori snorted, "Pathetic."

"And seriously?" Pain turned at Hidan's voice. "What the fuck is with this?" The albino pointed an exasperated finger at the several million photographs of Konan littering Pain's bedside table. "You two fucking broke up; you're supposed to throw away all this shit!"

Pain gave an animalistic growl and reached over, grabbing all his precious photos of his ex before Hidan could put his grabby, not-so-little hands all over them. Kakuzu rolled his eyes again and muttered something along the lines of "Stupid, lovesick, moronic loon" and Sasori and Hidan exchanged looks.

Before Pain had any time to react, Sasori and Hidan both jumped him. Hidan began strangling Pain and basically causing him a world of hurt while Sasori pried and wrenched the pictures from his grasp. Kisame face-palmed himself and resigned himself to his fate, reaching over to try to get the three off of each other.

Before Kisame could grab a hold of any of them, Sasori sat up with a wide smirk. "Aha!" He cried in victory, waving the several pictures in a wide arc above his head. Hidan gave Pain a couple more rough shakes, just for the heck of it, before letting go of his friend. Pain sat up, rubbing his bruising neck and looking thoroughly rumpled.

"This is worst than I thought." Kakuzu said aloud, glancing at the trio on the bed.

Kisame sighed and sat down next to Pain. Sasori tucked the pictures in his back pocket and said nonchantly, "I'll be keeping those." Kisame shot him a look and stuck out a large hand. Sasori pouted moodily like a little kid, but Kisame refused to fall victim to the puppy-dog stare, and finally, Sasori angrily placed the photos in Kisame's palms. The blue haired man nodded in satisfaction and tucked the pictures in his coat pocket before turning back to Pain.

"Pain, no offence or anything, but they're right. You're acting like a pathetic—"

"Idiotic, stupid, moronic, desperate—"

"Fucking pussy, an ape-shit motherfucking cock-sucker—" 

"Told you love was stupid—" 

"—person and this has to stop!" Kisame finished with a flourish, studiously ignoring his friends' imputs while Pain glared daggers at the other three. "You have to move on, man! And keeping all these photos of Konan aren't gonna help with that."

Pain sniffled slightly before nodding. "You're right, but it's not that easy. I love her, I mean I really, really love her. And moving on is gonna be tough. Not that any of you guys would understand; I'm the only one in this room that's had a relationship which lasted longer than eight days!"

"I just haven't found the right person yet, man!" Kisame said defensively.

"Love sucks crap." Kakuzu stated simply with crossed arms and a stern face.

"Like Sharky said," Hidan offered while rubbing lightly at his nose, "I just haven't found the right bitch yet."

Sasori yawned in a bored fashion, leaning back and propping himself up by his elbows. "We're too young to get too serious. Why throw away freedom and get tied down this early in the game? Might as well enjoy life a bit first." The redhead said with a brief shrug when everyone in the room looked at him for his excuse.

Pain sighed and rubbed his head. "Right…" He mumbled quietly. Kisame just chuckled and clapped him hard on the back.

"Look man, you have to move on. We don't like seeing you like this…all, messed-up and stuff." The tall man said. "We're gonna help you move on."

Kakuzu raised a brow and questioned noncommittally, "We are?"

Sasori gave out a slightly sadistic chuckle, a dark shadow looming over his features. "We are, and I know just how to start."

-o-

"How the hell is this gonna help?" Pain gasped, twitching horrendously as he held the precious photos tight to his chest. His four friends were watching him with expectant eyes and wide grins, which, in actuality, were beginning to freak the stuffing out of him.

"Put the photos in," Sasori said, leaning forward in anticipation. "Trust me, getting rid of them is the first step to moving on."

Pain closed his eyes and whimpered sadly before placing the photos in the slot. His eyes clenched even tighter when the shredding sound surrounded the room, bouncing off the walls and opened them again when the horrible sound stopped.

The auburn-haired man glanced into the paper shredder, wincing as he saw the small, little remains that used to be those wonderful glossy pictures. He looked up at his friends, and they stared at him before smirking at him, clapping and cheering, or rolling their eyes.

"How did that feel?" Kisame asked, leaning forward on his hunches as Pain swallowed noisily.

"That…that…that felt _horrible_!" Pain gasped, clutching his heart in an almost melodramatic stature as he more or less fell facedown on the carpeted floor.

Hidan snorted before pulling Pain back up and stuffing a load of origami paper into his awaiting hands. "Great. Now put these in the fucking machine!"

Pain just whimpered again before delicately placing one sheet of origami paper in the slot and watched in morbid fascination as the paper was ripped to shreds. He breathed a sigh of relief when it was over, and glanced back down at the hundred or more sheets resting in his lap before letting out a muffled sob.

-o-

Deidara walked slowly down the aisle, glancing at the shelves which were stocked to the brim with paints and clay and other artistic instruments. The basket resting on his right elbow banged painfully against his hip as he continued looking for the clay he wanted. Finally seeing it, the blonde frowned when he noticed that the needed clay was resting on one of the higher shelves. Just slightly too high to reach, even if he was on his tiptoes.

"Argh," Deidara grumbled, "come on, yeah…just a bit further." He huffed angrily when his fingers simply grazed the jar and reached up again.

Suddenly, a pale hand shot up from beside him and grabbed the jar. Deidara gasped slightly before looking to his right and gasped again. Sasori. Sasori, the flirty-kinda-hot-guy-who-asked-him-to-have-_fun_-at-the-bar, was standing right next to him, holding the desired item in his hands.

"You!" Deidara all but reeled back in shock. What were the chances? "What're you doing here?"

Sasori smirked and leaned close to Deidara. The blonde blushed at the close proximity of their bodies but refrained from leaning back. Somehow, he knew if he leaned further away, Sasori would just lean closer in.

"My Spidey senses were tingling," Sasori said in a teasing tone, "it was telling me that there was a damsel in distress nearby." He blew on Deidara's ear and watched in satisfaction as the blonde shivered.

Deidara flushed. "I'm not a damsel, yeah! And I'm not in distress!"

Sasori leaned even closer with a smirk, "Whatever you say, babe."

"Don't call me babe! My name's Deidara, yeah." Sasori let out a mocking laugh and Deidara found himself frowning at it. His heart was beating in irregular intervals again and his breathing was quickly becoming rapid.

"I'll call you whatever I want, baby," Sasori said, chuckling before handing Deidara the jar of clay. "Here ya go."

Deidara frowned and placed the jar in the basket before mumbling a quick "Thanks, yeah," and turning on his heel and striding quickly down the aisle. Sasori quickly followed and Deidara tried his hardest to ignore the redhead's presence.

"So, you're into art, babe?" Sasori questioned to the back of Deidara's head. Deidara blushed at his new nickname and thanked the heavens that his back was to Sasori so he couldn't see the blush now painted heavily on the blonde's cheeks.

"Um…yeah," Deidara whispered before turning his head back to glance at Sasori. Sasori winked and Deidara quickly faced forward again. "How about you?"

"Yes, I'm into art," Sasori answered breezily before continuing his questions, "So you make clay sculptures?" Deidara nodded quickly while making a bee-line to the cash registers.

"How about you? What do you make, yeah?" Deidara asked, just to break the silence. He heard Sasori chuckle and jumped slightly, freezing on the spot when he felt a pair of warm arms encircle his waist and Sasori's warm breath brush against the right side of his face.

"Not telling," Sasori said teasingly while leaning in and burying his face into Deidara's neck. "Mm, you smell nice, babe."

Deidara shivered when he felt Sasori's lips brush against the pale column of his neck lightly before gaining his composure and roughly pushing the redhead away and off of him. "Stop!" Sasori stumbled slightly and chuckled sadistically. "That…that's called molestation, yeah!"

"Molestation?" Sasori feigned hurt and clutched at his chest, "I'm hurt baby! And here you were, looking like you were enjoying it too."

Deidara flushed deep red and glanced down at his basket. "I was not enjoying it, you pervert. Just leave me alone, yeah."

Sasori laughed and put his hands up in a mock show of surrender. "Alright, alright, I have to go anyways; don't wanna keep my friends waiting too long. I hate to keep people waiting. I'll see you later…_Deidara_."

Deidara waited, listening closely as Sasori's footsteps faded enough before looking up and watching from beneath his long eyelashes at Sasori's quickly disappearing form.

Once he was out of sight, Deidara gave out a sigh and clutched at his chest. _Slow down heart, slow down!_

-o-

**Yay! Slight SasoDei. Woot! Thank you to everyone who reviewed/favourited/subscribed, anything! I love you all! More chapters to come!**

**Love and love again,**

**Harmony**


	4. Heartbroken Ramblings

**I'm a terrible, terrible person…I never reply to anyone's reviews (well, I reply to some, but yeah…)! I'm so sorry about that, but I love every single review I get and I secretly reread them every night and giggle like a maniac at every single one I receive.**

**But for now, I'd like to give special thanks to ****Akari's Blood**** for being my very first reviewer and for reviewing every single one of my chapters.**

**I just felt the need to tell you guys that I love your reviews… :D Just in case you didn't know…hahaha…enjoy chapter 4!**

CHAPTER 4: Heartbroken Ramblings

"Sorry I'm late," Sasori grunted as he sat down on the empty chair, calling over a pretty waitress and ordering a Shirley-Temple with a wink and a flirtatious comment to boot.

"Sasori…late? That's a first." Kisame said teasingly with a wide grin. Sasori chuckled and ran a hand through his blood red locks.

"Yeah, I got held up at the art store." The redhead said with his signature smirk. The waitress came back and placed the ordered Shirley-Temple in front of Sasori with a blush and a giggle as he winked playfully at her. She turned around to go to another table and Sasori leaned over and smacked her ass. She looked back, gaping, and Sasori smirked at her.

"Thanks, sexy," He said and she flushed a deep red before lumbering away. Sasori chuckled and turned back to Kisame who was watching him with a frown. "What?" Sasori asked defensively, and Kisame just sighed and shook his head.

"So why were you held up, fucktard?" Hidan asked crudely, sipping from his beer. "Saw another hot chick and you just had to have a quick fuck with her in the fucking storage room?"

Sasori leaned back, his thoughts straying to Deidara's flushed and shy face, before shaking away his thoughts and shooting Hidan a sly grin. "Maybe." He said mischievously and Hidan chuckled while Kakuzu whipped out his notebook again to add another tally. Sasori raised an eyebrow at that, but refrained from asking.

"So now that we're all here," Sasori said, swiftly turning his gaze from Kakuzu's notebook to Pain, "you ready to forget about Konan and pick up some hot lady?"

Pain looked extremely awkward from where he was seated. As his friends' gazes fell upon him, he ducked down deeper into his chair, wanting to disappear and forget about the whole 'Let's Forget About That Bitch Konan!' plan and just go home to his ice cream and cheesy movies.

"No." The pierced-man grumbled audibly but Hidan just gave out a great, jolly laugh. Not unlike one of an insane, murderous Santa Claus.

"That's the fucking spirit!" Hidan crowed happily while swinging an arm around Kakuzu and using the older man as an armrest. Kakuzu looked mutinous but somehow managed to restrain himself from maiming the albino. "Now, there any bitch here that's caught your eye?"

Pain grumbled some more and shook his head. Hidan rolled his eyes. "Look, if you can't decide on a chick, we'll pick the fucking cunt for you."

"And don't be surprised if we accidentally mistake an old man for a pretty girl. The lighting is pretty dim here," Sasori added, an innocent look spreading across his face.

Pain sighed and ran a hand down his face, hardly seeming fazed as the metal from his piercings dug into his palms. "Fine, fine, fine…" He grumbled and looked around before pointing at a random girl with long black hair that reached her mid-back, dressed in a classy and sleek white dress. Her accessories caught the lighting and sparkled prettily as the boys stared her down.

Sasori turned back to Pain. "Damn you, I was going to hit on her." He grumbled, pouting and crossing his arms over his chest. Pain rolled his eyes.

"You go hit on her then," Pain snapped back irritably, "I don't even wanna be here anyways!"

Hidan seemed to unconsciously lean even more into Kakuzu, and the brunette man twitched in anger. "Too bad, bastard. You picked her, now go and show that bitch what you're made of!"

Pain sighed melodramatically and slowly got up off his seat. Kisame smiled encouragingly and gave the shorter man a friendly pat on the back and a cheesy thumbs up pose. Pain gave a forced smile back in return before dragging himself halfway across the bar to the pretty girl, rain-clouds practically visible and floating over his head, pelting his orange hair with droplets.

The moment Pain left their table, Kakuzu viciously ripped Hidan away from him and tossed the Jashinist several meters away. Kisame and Sasori continued watching Pain's every move; hardly seeming phased as Hidan's dead weight hit the floor with a crack and a sickening thud before the albino got up, lumbered back over and began cursing enough to make everyone within a five mile radius grow grey hair. 

After all, this was a daily occurrence in the story of Hidan and Kakuzu.

-o-

"Hi." Pain grumbled with little to no enthusiasm. He couldn't even bring himself to pretend to be enthusiastic.

The girl turned around, her coal black locks flapping all over the place, a curious expression marring her features. When she saw it was Pain who had spoken to her, she gave him a quick look-over, and seeming to like what she saw, she subtly leaned closer to the auburn-haired man.

"Hello…" She said coyly, twirling a strand of hair around her fingers. "My name's Ayame, and you are…?" She trailed off, allowing him to complete her sentence.

"Pain." He answered shortly. If Ayame noticed his irritable aura, she didn't mention it.

"Hm," Ayame hummed lightly, "you're very handsome, did you know that, Pain?" She dragged out his name lightly, smirking seductively up at him. Pain didn't even seem to notice. "So, what're you doing here tonight?"

Pain sighed. "Well, you see, my girlfriend broke up with me on our four-year anniversary, and apparently eating ice cream out of a carton and watching chick flicks is a crime, so my friends made me destroy and maim and fucking mutilate everything that reminded me of my precious, beautiful, wonderful, charming, perfect Konan. And then to make it even worse, they dragged me here, literally dragged me! Those bastards! And then they decided to help me move on by forcing me to flirt with the first girl I saw. And apparently, you're that girl, so yippee, lucky you. But I don't even want to be here! I don't even want to flirt with you! I just want my angel back. And I suck at flirting so I don't even get why my friends are forcing me to do this…I suck crap at flirting, you know how I know? Cuz your face is turning into this ugly blue color right now…did you know that my angel's hair color is blue? Her hair is so beautiful…unlike yours. I mean, it's not that you're…you know, ugly…but you're just not as beautiful as Konan and—"

"Shut up and go away." Ayame snapped angrily.

-o-

"This is not good…" Sasori muttered as he watched the girl's face turn ugly, a scowl twisting her plump lips and her face turned a sickly blue color, not too unlike Kisame's. Except Kisame's looked natural. Her face looked as if she accidentally splattered food dye all over it.

"Fuck…" Hidan mumbled, rubbing at one of the many bumps he sported on the back of his head.

"Maybe we shouldn't be forcing him to pick up girls so soon," Kisame said thoughtfully. "Maybe we should just allow him to enjoy the single life for a bit first…"

"Love sucks shit." Kakuzu said again for the fiftieth time in that one hour, sounding a lot like a broken record. Hidan rolled his eyes at Kakuzu's words but uncharacteristically refrained from commenting.

"I guess you're right," Sasori said, instantly deflating. "We should allow Pain to forget Konan a bit more before forcing him to get a girlfriend."

They watched as the girl snapped something to Pain, and then their friend turned back and dragged himself back to their table. Kisame offered him a sympathetic look while Hidan and Sasori rolled their eyes, their expressions practically screaming 'EPIC FAIL!', and Kakuzu was actually smiling at his friend's failure in finding new love.

"Love sucks," He repeated again, looking extremely smug of himself. Hidan turned around, his left eye twitching in annoyance before he reeled back an arm and smacked Kakuzu right on the face. Kakuzu didn't even flinch. He just turned around, and sent a punch right to the albino's jaw. There was a sickening crunch and before anyone else knew it, the two of them were rolling on the floor, clawing angrily at each other.

"Get a room," Sasori couldn't help but comment, laughing at the sight.

-o-

"I can't believe you got us kicked out!" Sasori exclaimed angrily. "I didn't even get to pick up a girl tonight. They should've just kicked you morons out, why did they have to kick us out as well? We didn't even do anything!"

Kakuzu and Hidan both grumbled, walking along the sidewalk. Their clothes were thoroughly rumpled and their hair was all messed up. Hidan was complaining rather loudly about how Kakuzu had messed up his perfectly gelled hair, and if they didn't know better, everyone would have thought that Kakuzu and Hidan had been…well, having some _fun_.

"Oh shut the fuck up, Red. Seriously." Hidan grumbled. "I mean, didn't you just fuck someone in the shitty storage room at the fucking art store?"

"I was kidding!" Sasori exclaimed. Kisame let out a sigh of relief, feeling somewhat proud of Sasori to have the decency to not have hot and heavy sex in a storage room…filled with clay and paints and wood and other artsy stuff.

Kakuzu grumbled some more before fishing out an eraser and his notebook again, carefully erasing the one small tally before tucking the notebook in his jacket pocket. Sasori raised a brow.

"Are you keeping track of my sex life?" He cried out in indignation. Kakuzu shrugged.

"That's one way to say it. But I like to say that I'm keeping track of how many hearts you broke," Kakuzu replied. "I have like, another two filled-up notebooks at home." Kisame choked on his own saliva and Pain raised a brow, looking between a cross of awe and disgust. Sasori shook his head.

"Whatever."

"Okay, well Pain," Kisame said, ignoring Hidan and Kakuzu and Sasori's grumblings, "we've decided that we shouldn't force you to date so soon after your…break-up. We've decided to just allow you to enjoy the single life for a bit first."

Pain moaned, "Yippee…"

"That's the spirit!" Kisame smiled jovially, slapping Pain's back in a playful manner. Pain stumbled forward at the force of the hit but otherwise, said nothing.

"Can't you guys just help me get Konan back, instead of forcing me to move on and all that crap?" Pain asked, breaking the silence.

Sasori snorted. "Absolutely not. You should at least go out with a few more people. I mean, you've only dated Konan, right? So if you've only dated her, how do you know that she's 'The One' for you?"

"Little Red's got a point," Kisame butted in.

"You just _know_," Pain grumbled. "It just feels so right when you're with them, y'know? And I just know that I won't love anyone else as much as I love Konan."

There was a pregnant pause in which the five friends just continued waddling and stumbling their way to Pain's apartment complex.

"Blech!" Kakuzu simply said, his tone of voice conveying every disgusted emotion that was brewing inside of him, while his face continued to betray nothing. Pain just sighed.

"I knew you guys wouldn't understand." He said and Sasori remained silent, deep in thought.

Finally, they arrived back to Pain's home, and they all crowded inside, sprawling on his couch and bean bags that littered his living room floor. 

"Shouldn't you guys be going home?" Pain asked with an eyebrow raise. Sasori gasped dramatically, looking at Pain with sad eyes filled with betrayal.

"Pain, you wound me! And here I thought that I was your best friend!" Pain couldn't help but chuckle at his friend.

"Ouch, sorry, want me to get you a band-aid?" He asked sarcastically, and Sasori grinned. "It's just…what're you guys still doing here?"

"We're here to make sure you don't watch anymore fucking chick flicks and that you're mouth is only eating fattening, sickening potato chips and not…triple chocolate fudge ice cream with fucking rainbow sprinkles." Hidan answered. "I mean, shit man! Rainbow sprinkles? I think we gotta help you find your inner manliness!"

Pain groaned at the thought, patting his stomach absentmindedly before sitting on a bean bag next to Sasori. "Fine, fine. So what're we gonna do now?"

Kisame was rifling through his movie set, grinning from ear to ear before pulling out a case with the words _The Shining_ on it. "Scary movie, anyone?"

Shouts in favour sounded all over the place, excluding Kakuzu's moan in disagreement.

-o-

"I'm back!" Deidara called out, carrying several plastic bags filled to the brim with clay, paints and paintbrushes.

"Hn," Itachi appeared at the doorway leading from the kitchen, a cup of coffee clutched in his hands. Deidara raised an eyebrow at that.

"Coffee, Itachi? At this hour, yeah?" Itachi rolled his red eyes.

"Hn, whatever…you've been gone a while; what took so long?" The Uchiha asked while taking a sip of the scalding liquid, internally wincing at the pain as the hot drink ran down his throat, but externally betraying nothing. Itachi raised an exquisite brow as he saw his friend blush hotly.

"Um, well…hahaha, long story, yeah…" Deidara mumbled, walking past Itachi and into the kitchen. The older male followed his younger counterpart.

"I've got the time, tell." Itachi more or less demanded, playing with the mug he held in his hands. Deidara unceremoniously dropped the plastic bags onto the kitchen table, his face turning even hotter as he recalled what happened at the art store.

"You…you know that redhead we met at the bar the other night…?"

Itachi looked up curiously, "Sasori, was it?"

"Yeah, Sasori…I kinda bumped into him at the art store, yeah. I couldn't reach some of the clay that I wanted and he…helped, yeah." Deidara began emptying the plastic bags for lack of anything to do.

"Is that all?" Itachi inquired dubiously.

"And he…well, he…um…" Deidara coughed awkwardly, using his hair as a curtain to block his tomato red face from view. "He kinda…molested me…sexually assaulted me, yeah."

Itachi's eyes grew wide and he placed his coffee mug onto the kitchen island. "Molested? Sexually assaulted?" He demanded slightly urgently.

"Well, he didn't, you know, touch me _there_ or anything. He just put his arms around me and…kissed me neck, yeah." Deidara flushed harder than he ever had before at the thought. Itachi cocked his head to the side, face blank before suddenly, a little smirk crossed his face.

"You look like you're enjoying the thought," The Uchiha commented bluntly.

Deidara gaped at his friend, turning around so that they were face-to-face. "I am not enjoying the thought! How dare you even say that, Uchiha-bastard! I did not like it one bit, not at all! Sasori's a pervert! I only met his twice and he's already asked me to bed and molested me once each, yeah! You know what you bastard? You should go rot in hell with him, yeah!" The blonde began throwing a small temper tantrum, steam practically flowing from his ears.

Itachi chuckled humorously, "You sure sound like you're trying really hard to convince yourself of the fact." He commented lightly before placing his now empty mug in the sink before gliding out of the room. "Good night Deidara."

"Fuck you Itachi, yeah! Fuck you with something really hard and sharp…Itachi! I'm not done talking to you yet, yeah! You can't just leave, it's rude. ITACHI!"

-o- 

**Kakuzu: The non-believing party-pooper!**

**But we all love him. :D**  
><strong><br>I wasn't sure where to end this chapter, so this would have to do. A relatively boring chapter, not much happened except for Pain getting rejected by a girl. But oh well! The dude's still in love with Konan, after all. And yes, Deidara and Itachi are rooming buddies. Happy, happy day! I hope you guys at least got some kick out of this chappie, I'll try to update as soon as I can. :D**

**Love,**

**Harmony**

**P.S. And yes, the whole keeping tally, notebook thing with Kakuzu and Sasori is gonna be a running gag. Yippee!**


	5. Kisame In Love

**This story is now officially dedicated to/for ****DancingPinkCows**** for being the best reviewer and the best cyberfriend ever. Yay! Cheers to our not-so-new yet not-so-old cyberfriendship! Hope you enjoy this chapter!**

**And thank you everyone for the reviews/favourites/subscriptions, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter!**

**(Look at the title of this chapter.) Can anyone guess what this chapter will be about? Three guesses! :D**

CHAPTER 5: Kisame In Love

"Wubba, wubba…wubba, wubba…" Kisame mumbled intelligently to himself, his chin resting in his palm while his free hand played with the salt shaker sitting in front of him.

Hidan and Kakuzu stared at their friend.

The three of them were sitting at this new diner that had just recently opened downtown. Sasori was busy making a puppet for a theatre production of _Peter Pan_ and Pain really just didn't feel like going out. The three of them (well, actually Kisame) didn't have the heart to drag the auburn-haired man out of his cave, so they allowed him to wallow in his self-pity. But not without a bunch of profanities (curtsy of Hidan) before they left.

"What the fuck are you staring at?" Hidan asked his stumbling blue friend. Kisame was still too far off in daydream-land to properly grace the albino with a coherent answer. Kakuzu just cocked a brow.

"Wubba, wubba…wubba, wubba…"

"I think he's fucking drooling…"

"Charming."

"Hello, are you guys ready to order?" A different voice suddenly questioned, and the three friends looked up to see their waiter. His longish, dark brown hair was tied back into a small ponytail at the nape of his neck. He had blood red eyes (which were both really pretty and creepy at the same time) and he had two scars running down both cheeks in a long line, the nametag on his uniform read 'Itachi'.

"WUBBA!" Kisame suddenly cried out; spit flying all over the place. Hidan burst out laughing while Kakuzu and the waiter stared at the blue-haired man in shock. Kisame coughed lightly, "Sorry about that…" He mumbled, his face turning an interesting shade of purple. 

"That's quite alright," their waiter said hesitantly with a slightly disturbed look on his face. Kakuzu sighed, clutching his head and feeling a headache coming on. 

"Right, Kisame, are you ready to order?" Kakuzu asked. Kisame nodded. "Alright, I'll have meal C with the mashed potatoes, no cranberry sauce, and a coke." The brunette told Itachi with a nod. The red-eyed male was quickly jotting down the order.

Hidan coughed, still chuckling and said, "Meal G for me, extra cranberry sauce on the fucking potatoes and a 7Up." Itachi raised a brow at the Jashinist's choice of words, but simply nodded and turned his attention to Kisame.

"And how about you, sir? What would you like?" Itachi asked Kisame politely, pen and pad at the ready.

Kisame gaped at the Uchiha for a bit before opening his mouth. No sound came out. Kisame continued to open and close his mouth, resembling quite a lot like a goldfish. Itachi quirked a brow while Kakuzu face-palmed himself and Hidan began a chorus of loud guffaws.

"Sir, are you alright?"

Finally seeming to regain his voice, Kisame squeaked out, "Yes!" Clearing his throat and deepening his voice, he tried again. "Ahem…I mean, yes. Um, I would meal B like…like meal B, ahem, sorry. Ah, extra raspberry sauce and no potatoes please. Wait, argh! I mean no raspberry sauce and extra potatoes…please. And um, do you have water?" Kisame's voice got all high again with the last sentence and his voice cracked quite a few times when he was ordering, much like a boy hitting puberty. 

Itachi nodded slowly while writing down the ordered meal. Grabbing all of their menus, he straightened up. "Your meals will be here in about fifteen minutes." Their waiter said before gracefully walking away.

Hidan was still laughing like a madman, leaning on Kakuzu for support, and Kakuzu was too distracted by Kisame's performance to notice.

"What was that?" Kakuzu asked Kisame incredulously.

"I don't know…" Kisame offered meekly, face still painted a shocking shade of deep purple. Hidan began to get hysterical, tears of mirth streaming down his face.

"Oh…oh my Jashin! T-that was so…so fucking messed…haha…messed-up…shit! Man…damn it, my ribs!...fuck…you…you shit!" Hidan managed between pants, clutching at his throbbing stomach.

"What the hell was that?" Kakuzu repeated the question again while Hidan clutched tightly on his shirt-front.

"I don't know," Kisame murmured, "I just saw him…and, BAM! I turned into a stuttering…stuttering moron! Dang it." His head fell against the table top with a _bonk!_ Kakuzu shook his head with a sigh.

"I repeat after Sasori: pathetic." He said with an eye-roll.

"You…you looked so…so f-fucking stupid!" Hidan calmed down slightly, and rubbed at his magenta eyes with a manic smile pasted across his face. "Wubba, wubba, wubba!" The albino sang, mocking his taller friend.

Kisame flushed, looking down at the salt shaker that was still clutched in a death grip in his big hands. "Shut up, man!"

"You're fucking in love!" Hidan cried out joyfully with frantic, flailing arms.

"I'm not!" Kisame denied hotly. "I just met the guy!"

"Maybe it's love at first sight." Hidan replied quickly, getting off of Kakuzu and leaning forward in his seat so his face was nearer to Kisame's.

Kakuzu snorted in disbelief before muttering a sarcastic, "Right."

"I don't love him," Kisame repeated, glaring studiously at his two close friends. Kakuzu cocked his head and Hidan quirked his eyebrows in a sign that clearly stated that he did not believe him at all. "Maybe I'm sorta…I dunno…infatuated with him cuz, y'know, he's not half-bad looking, but love? No way."

"Mmhmm," Hidan hummed lightly. "Whatever you say, bastard."

"Here are your orders," Itachi quite suddenly appeared from out of nowhere, three plates balanced on a tray which he carried with one hand, and another tray filled with three glasses (one coke, one 7Up, and one water) was balanced on his other arm. Kisame quite literally shot out of his seat at Itachi's sudden presence.

"WUBBA!"

Hidan burst out laughing once again, Kakuzu groaned on his friend's behalf, and Itachi stared at Kisame, looking rather disturbed. Kisame looked at the ground, face now resembling a plum.

-o-

"Hey Little Red, you done working on that puppet yet?" Kisame asked, cell phone pressed against his ear. There was a scuffle on the other end before Sasori's voice replied.

"No, almost, but I could definitely use a break," Kisame heard the redhead groan and popping sounds that were definitely bones. "I've been working on the puppet all day yesterday."

"Great!" Kisame cheered. "You wanna go with me to that new diner downtown?"

There was a pause, then: "Didn't you, Kakuzu and Hidan just go yesterday?"

"Oh…" Kisame stumbled slightly, beginning to pace up and down his flat. "Yeah, we did…but the food is just so amazing! And it's really cheap too…the décor of the place is really nice and it's just an amazing place with—"

"An extremely hot waiter that you're apparently head-over-heels in love with." Sasori finished.

"Exactly! Hey…no, wait! I'm not in love with him; it's just a simple infatuation. And how the heck do you know?"

Sasori scoffed on his end. "Please, tell Hidan the human trumpet something, and you may as well have informed the whole world." Kisame grumbled under his breath for a bit, complaining to himself about the albino before straightening up.

"Well, whatever. You wanna go?" Kisame asked hopefully. The blue-tinted man could practically feel Sasori's smirk of smugness oozing from the phone.

"Sure," was Sasori's breezy reply, "I'll meet you there in twenty minutes. Don't be late." The redhead warned dangerously before the line disconnected and Kisame was met with a dead end.

Breathing in deeply, Kisame stared at himself in the mirror, praying to whatever deity that was up there that he wouldn't embarrass himself like last time.

-o-

"You're late," Sasori snapped impatiently, standing in front of the restaurant and tapping his foot in an unrecognizable rhythm. Kisame raised an eyebrow and checked his watch before rolling his eyes and meeting Sasori's chocolate-orbs.

"By three minutes," Kisame said in disbelief. Sasori snorted.

"Which could be rounded to five minutes," The redhead stated simply before opening the restaurant door and holding it for Kisame. "Let's go." He urged his taller friend. Kisame chuckled in amusement.

They stepped into the restaurant, the aromas of many different foods wafting through the air. Sasori looked around, taking in the oldies yet classy feel the restaurant had about it, and nodded in satisfaction. "Good place," he mentioned casually. Kisame smiled.

"You haven't even tried the food yet, man!" He said.

"Don't need to," Sasori replied. "It smells good, so it must taste good as well." Kisame couldn't help but laugh merrily at his friend's easy comment.

Someone came and brought the two friends to their table, before telling them that their waiter will be with them shortly. After placing their menus in front of them, the man left, leaving the two friends to browse through the menu.

"So," Sasori mentioned casually, "the hottie of a waiter anywhere around?" He flipped through the menu and bit his lip in thought. 

Kisame glanced surreptitiously around for a brief moment before looking back at Sasori and shaking his head slowly. "No, I don't see him anywhere…"

Sasori sighed and closed his menu, obviously done looking. "It would suck if he wasn't here." Kisame shrugged and watched as the redhead looked around, checking out everyone in the diner, but much to puppeteer's distaste, only old married couples or middle aged parents with bratty kids were seated in the restaurant. Sasori sighed and snuggled deeper into his seat.

Suddenly, a waiter appeared next to their table, and the two friends looked up. Itachi stood beside their table, looking cautiously at Kisame (who was sporting a dopey grin) and then turning his gaze to Sasori. Seeing the redhead, the Uchiha's scarlet eyes widened.

"It's you," Itachi said, giving Sasori a look-over. Sasori glanced at Itachi with his lidded bedroom eyes and smirk, and then glanced at Kisame. Seeing the blue-haired man's silly grin, Sasori's smirk widened.

"Do I know you?" Sasori asked, a seductive undertone in his voice. Kisame was still deep in his trance. Itachi sighed.

"I'm the best friend of the blonde you 'molested' in the art store," Itachi replied. Sasori looked thoughtful for a moment before he suddenly brightened, his smirk quickly changing into a genuine smile and his eyes lighting up.

"You're friends with Deidara?" Sasori asked, excitement tinting his voice.

Itachi nodded. "Yes, and you're Sasori, the guy who molested him."

Sasori scoffed in amusement, "Please, he enjoyed it, I could tell." Itachi smirked subtly, so lightly you had to squint to notice it.

"I didn't say he didn't enjoy it," The Uchiha said, almost playfully, and Sasori laughed. Kisame was still staring at the long-haired male with stars in his eyes.

"Wubba, wubba…wubba, wubba…" Kisame mumbled incoherently. Itachi raised a thin, elegant brow in the blue man's direction.

"Is he…okay?"

Sasori looked at Kisame for a few seconds before leaning forward with a tissue paper clutched in his hand. He wiped the drool off his friend's chin before leaning back, nodding to himself.

"Oh, he's fine…just sick," Sasori said and thought _lovesick_. His words were reassuring but his tone anything but that. Itachi nodded hesitantly before whipping out a pen and notepad. "Are you ready to order yet?"

"Sure," Sasori said before opening the menu again, "I'll have meal E with the mashed potatoes and extra gravy. I'll have a coke with lemon and…a bowl of tomato soup with garlic bread. Kisame?"

When Kisame failed to respond after Sasori called his two more times, his nonexistent patience snapped, and he aimed a kick underneath the table at him. Kisame was rudely woken from his daydream with a jerk, a yelp of pain erupting from his lips.

"WUBBA! What…what happened?" Kisame asked in confusion.

"What the hell do you want to eat?" Sasori in exasperation, glaring slightly. Kisame looked up and saw Itachi still standing there, looking pretty stoic.

"Oh, um…meal A…ahem, sorry, voice is a little dry…ahem. Eh, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce is a no…extra gravy, please. Ahem, coke please." Kisame said, rubbing his throat while his voice cracked embarrassingly. Itachi nodded and glided away, taking away their menus.

Kisame was purple and he refused to make eye contact with his redheaded counterpart. Finally, the silence became too much for the saint-like man, and he looked up. Sasori was looking at him with a smirk and sadistically amused eyes.

"…what?" Kisame squeaked out when Sasori's intense eyes continued to stare holes through his skull. Sasori just chuckled.

"You need more help than Pain does."

-o-

**I rather liked this chapter. I don't know why, probably because I just love how I wrote Kisame in this, but eh. I think I handled the introduction and meeting between Itachi and Kisame fairly well, but I can't be too sure. Constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated and I'll try to update as quickly as I can, but no promises…sorry! But I'll try my hardest. :)**

**And I know that things are moving soooo slowly right now, but I don't wanna rush anything! I hate it when in one chapter, two characters hate each other and in the next chapter, they're like, pushing their tongues down each other's throats. I'm sorry if things get boring, but almost everything written is important to this story! Sorry!**

**Thank you to everyone who's stuck around with this story for so long. Really. Thank you guys so much! Hope you enjoyed this chapter and, as I said before, I'll try to update as fast as I can! XD**

**Hugs, hugs and more hugs,**

**Harmony **


	6. A Glowing Face and a Beard

**Super, super long rant right down bottom… XD You'll read it soon…And do you guys think I should change the 'Drama' I put this story under into 'Humor'? Just a thought…******

**Note: eHarmony is a dating site. I think you have to take a quiz and they match you with your most combatable person (I'm not too sure cuz I've never tried it). You guys start talking on the internet, and then if you want, you can meet with the person. 100 percent satisfaction guaranteed, or your money back. ;)**

**P.S. Oh, and since I know nada about eHarmony, I probably missed most of the questions or got 'em all wrong. You'll see what I'm talking about... :D**

CHAPTER 6: A Glowing Face and a Beard

BAM!

Pain jumped out of his bed in shock, rolling over and falling to the floor. His blanket and pillows gathered around his fallen form in a great heap and the auburn-haired man sat up with a groan while rubbing gingerly at his head.

"What the—?"

The door to his bedroom slammed open, hitting the wall with a crack and Pain squinted. Hidan stood at the doorway, looking extremely murderous and even more bloodthirsty than he usually looked. Kakuzu and Kisame appeared behind the albino, Kisame looking sheepish and Kakuzu had an aloof expression on his face.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing, you motherfucking bastard?" Hidan yelled out demandingly, and spit flew all over the place, most landing on Pain's face even though Hidan was halfway across the room from him.

"Sleeping…?" Pain answered hesitantly, honestly fearing for his life as Hidan bowled towards him. The moment Hidan was near enough, the albino _jumped(!),_ and landed right on top of Pain. Kisame and Kakuzu both winced.

"Ouch," Kisame said, staring at the small dog-pile resting on Pain's floor, "that's gotta hurt…"

Meanwhile, Hidan was throttling the pierced man.

"You know what? Fuck what we said before!" Hidan was crying out while Pain was turning blue in the face. "You're gonna go out there, and you're gonna pick yourself up a fine bitch! You're acting like a pathetic, motherfucking, cock-sucking asshole, and shit, it's annoying the _HELL _outta me! So we're gonna go out there right now, and you're gonna pick up so many cunts, it'll make Red fucking roll over and die!"

Kisame reached towards the enraged Jashinist. "Um…Hidan, I don't think Pain can breathe…"

"You got that, asshole?" Pain made a sad choking noise before nodding rapidly, struggling for breath.

"Hidan…I think you're killing Pain—!"

Hidan spat over his shoulder (the spit landing perfectly in a cleverly placed trash can) before relinquishing his grip on his friend's abused neck. The moment Pain was set free, he kneeled over, gasping and gingerly touching his neck, wincing and just knowing that it'll be bruising by the afternoon.

"Okay, get dressed," Hidan demanded, "we're going out!"

Pain sighed, standing up and hiding behind Kisame before continuing. "No." Hidan's face turned purple and Kakuzu stepped forward, ready to stop Hidan should the albino go on another crazy rampage.

"What the fuck did you say, bitch?"

"I'm not going out to flirt with girls," Pain said. "That's Sasori's specialty, I suck crap at flirting and we all know it! I turn all awkward and end up going into fifteen minute spiels…I'm a total turn-off!"

Kakuzu snorted, "Not gonna argue with you there." Pain shot him a nasty look.

Hidan groaned loudly. "Well what the fuck do you want us to do now? Sign you up for fucking eHarmony or something?"

-o-

Sasori looked through the papers pinned up on the bulletin board with a slight frown on his face. He was at the YMCA, looking for any lessons that taught woodwork or puppetry (seeing as that form of art was so unappreciated these days). Sadly, he found none.

He sighed and walked up to the counter. A pretty girl with long platinum-blonde hair sat there, clicking away on the computer and chewing a thick wad of bubble gum. Sasori leaned over the desk and shot the girl his signature smirk when she looked up. 

The girl flushed slightly before grinning widely up at the redhead. "Hello," she whispered, breathlessly, "can I…help you?"

Sasori leaned even closer, blowing slightly on the girl's face. "Yes, I was wondering if there are any lessons on woodwork and puppetry here?" He even managed to make a fairly innocent question sound horrendously seductive. The girl giggled hopelessly.

"You can go check the art section forms, right over there," she pointed a manicured finger to the right, where another bulletin board lay, partially hidden by a large ficus. 

"Thanks, beautiful…" Sasori trailed off with a suggestive wink before making his way to the board.

The girl giggled one more time before shouting out, "Wait!" Sasori turned back around with raised eyebrows. The girl gestured for the redhead to go over; he complied, eyebrows rising up even further when the girl began scribbling something quickly on the piece of paper.

"Here," she said, thrusting the scrap into Sasori's hands. Sasori looked down to see a phone number with the name 'Suki' scrawled on it. "Call me anytime you want." Suki said, biting on her bottom lip and fluttering her eyelashes provocatively.

Sasori threw Suki a sly smirk before pocketing the paper in his back pocket. "Will do…" He drawled out and then turned on his heel, making his way to the bulletin board. Suki let out a silent squeal of delight.

He glanced and rifled through the papers pinned onto the corkboard, scowling when he saw no lessons on puppetry. Suddenly, a name on the top of a sheet caught his attention and he quickly glanced back at it. 

_Teacher – Deidara Iwa_

Sasori blinked slightly before shaking his head. No way, there was no way that he could be so lucky that this was the same Deidara—! The redhead held his breath as he glanced a bit more up to see what lessons this Deidara person was giving.

_Pottery and clay sculpting._

Sasori stood there for a moment before grinning happily and punching his fist up in the air in silent celebration.

Yes! 

-o-

"I can't believe we're on fucking eHarmony!" Hidan complained loudly, scowling at the computer screen. Kakuzu rolled his eyes and punched the albino on the arm.

"Shut the fuck up," the brunette shot back, just as viciously. "You're the one who brought up this stupid dating site in the first place!"

"I'm not really sure if I trust these dating websites…" Kisame trailed off hesitantly and Pain proceeded to bang his own head on the keyboard.

"Fuuuuuuck…" He groaned.

Suddenly, the front door slammed open and Sasori's voice rang out merrily, "I'm here!" Pain looked up, several of the keys stuck on his forehead, and he raised a brow at his redheaded friend who was making his way towards the computer.

"How did you guys get into my house?" The auburn-haired man demanded.

"Technically speaking, this is an apartment complex," Kakuzu mentioned offhandedly. Hidan rolled his eyes and stuck his middle finger into the older man's face.

"I picked the lock," Sasori replied simply, and Pain looked blank for a moment before nodding. That seemed about right. Then, he looked back at the albino. 

The Jashinist looked at Pain for a moment before sticking up his right foot. "I have a fucking foot." He said. "By the way, don't you fucking dare wash away that muddy shoe-mark on your door. It looks fucking badass, seriously!"

Pain looked somewhat horrified at the thought and Kisame shot him a look, basically saying without words, 'I _tried_ to stop him…sorry, man!' Sasori was chuckling (in a very sadistic manner) while Kakuzu rolled his eyes in exasperation.

"…Anyways!" Kisame said, rubbing his large hands together. "Where have you been, Little Red?"

Sasori scowled lightly, "You know I hate that nickname. I mean, Little? Really? I'm not _that_ short…you and Kakuzu are just freakishly tall!"

"You're a hundred and sixty-five centimetres, you're short and we all know it." Kisame said with a barking laugh. "And you're never gonna be rid of the nickname, might as well get used to it! Besides, you still never answered my question."

Sasori rolled his eyes. "I was at the YMCA signing up for lessons."

"They give lessons in woodwork there?" Kakuzu asked, looking over with a raised brow.

"Nope!"

"Well then, what lessons did you sign up for, bitch?" Hidan asked crudely, eyes still roaming over the eHarmony homepage.

"Pottery and clay sculpting," Sasori replied readily while walking into Pain's kitchen. All eyebrows flew up at that and incredulous expressions were exchanged.

"Pottery and clay sculpting?" Kakuzu repeated in disbelief.

"When have you ever shown interest in clay sculpting—?" Pain demanded his best friend, looking extremely confused while rubbing at his ears, making sure that he heard right.

"Or sculpting?" Hidan asked aloud.

"Or clay for that matter?" Kisame finished. Sasori strolled back into the room, holding a can of coke in one hand with an amused expression on his face. 

"It's nothing," he assured his friends, "I just had the sudden…_urge_ to make pots and…sculptures."

Everyone else in the room exchanged looks again before shrugging in unison and deciding to let the matter go.

"Whatever."

"Oh right!" Sasori suddenly exclaimed, fishing around his back pocket before producing a scrap piece of paper. "This is for you, Pain." He offered the sheet to Pain, who took it, looked it over and then glanced, unamused, at the beaming puppeteer.

"Why're you giving me this?" He deadpanned. Sasori grinned even wider. 

"Oh, that random receptionist from the YMCA gave it to me, I thought that you'd need it more than me," Sasori said with a shrug. Pain's eyebrows went up and he wrinkled his nose at the word _receptionist_. Sasori saw the pierced-man's look because he quickly flew down to reassure him. "Oh, don't worry. The receptionist is actually pretty hot, and young, and hot. And don't worry, I'm not lying, she's not some eighty year old granny with a moustache and unibrow or anything like that."

"We don't fucking need it!" Hidan called out. "We've got…this!"

Sasori raised a brow and glanced at the computer screen before his face smoothed out. "eHarmony?" He asked, monotonously, "Really?"

"Mmhmm," Hidan answered with flourish, "the bastard's too scared to flirt with the bitches for real, so we just decided to go here and get him his combatable match or some shit like that and then see what happens."

"_You_ decided this," Pain growled out. "I had no say in this, whatsoever."

"Whatever," Hidan rolled his eyes, "you're lucky we even give crap about your pathetic ass anymore." Kakuzu and Sasori shrugged and at Pain's stare, they muttered, "Well, it's true!" Kisame just patted the pierced man on the back.

"Alright, now let's take the quiz!" Kisame said with a beam.

"Right." Sasori, Kakuzu and Hidan nodded. Pain just moaned something in his hands that sounded a lot like, 'My poor, abused manliness!'

"SHAWTY KEYBOARD!" Hidan called out and made a quick getaway to the keyboard. Grabbing it, he grinned wickedly and cracked his knuckles. "Kay, let's do this shit."

"What's your full name?" Kisame read out-loud, over Hidan's shoulder. Hidan stuck out a tongue before typing horribly slowly.

"P-a-i-n…N-a-g…where the fuck is the g?" Hidan demanded, looking around frantically. Seeing it still stuck to Pain's forehead, the albino grinned goofily before ripping it off of the ginger-head. "Here it is. Okay…let's see…N-a-g-a-t-o. There!"

"Okay, favourite color." Kisame read out the next question. Kakuzu moaned in agony.

"What a waste of my life…!"

-o-

"Okay, last question: give us a brief description of your personal appearance." Kisame said, looking thoroughly relieved to be finished the deadly, crucial, nine question quiz. Hidan began clicking away. Everyone crowded around the albino to see what he was writing down.

"'Extremely short, four foot eight. Has orange hair which is streaked with grey. Eyes are fucking messed-up. Has so many piercing, they fucking blind people in the sunlight (my face glows, RESPECT ME!). And I have a beard.'" Sasori read out. Kisame choked on his own spit, Kakuzu actually looked amused and Pain gaped in shock at the screen. 

"What the hell? I don't have grey hair, my eyes are _awesome_, and my piercings don't blind people…" Pain mumbled the last part, looking thoroughly unamused.

"And a beard?" Kakuzu asked, smirking at the platinum-blonde man. Hidan stuck his chest out proudly.

"Of course! I heard the bitches love guys with beards! Apparently, having their chins tickled when in the middle of a hot make-out session is a real fucking turn-on." Hidan shared his knowledge.

"Turn-on?" Sasori repeated in disbelief. "Where the hell are you getting this information from?"

Hidan's eyes darted quickly to Kakuzu's form before turning away. Clearing his throat, he muttered a quick, "Shut the fuck up," before clicking the 'COMPLETE' button before any of them could protest.

-o-

_Pain Nagato –_

_Location: Amegakure  
><em>

_Age: 24_

_Gender: We're not sure (&#$Hfdsh$#(&rfdsfhjabFDHUJF(U347! Male_

_Favourite color: Purple_

_Likes: Strolls on the fucking beach, piercings, hot girls, the movie 'Dear John', and triple chocolate fudge ice cream with rainbow sprinkles_

_Dislikes: FDH#(jfd192~FREAKING ALBINOS WHO TYPE DOWN FALSE INFORMATION! HSAUGASJdsae2OJ!#43743$&$IHFsfAhW_

_Favourite movie: Dear John HUDAG*#4328$#(UFdfhaJF823$98 I do not like Dear John (+jRE*(#YU$( Yes he fucking does!*Y#UH FDUAG$#*&fds_

_Favourite song: SU$U#29u4dfabhnf#*$#Y!Brfdsjnf3847320!_

_What person looks for in significant other: Someone who understands me, respects me and would rub my feet everyday after dinner._

_Brief description of person: Extremely short, four foot eight. Has orange hair which is streaked with grey. Eyes are fucking messed-up. Has so many piercing, they fucking blind people in the sunlight (my face glows, RESPECT ME!). And I have a beard._

-o-

**For anyone who doesn't understand the ending, it's basically Pain's description now floating around in cyber (eHarmony) space. The places where it goes like this: 'FDIAHUI#$(##Rh834EURAG*fdhajr#(R&fd934!' is just Pain and Hidan fighting over the keyboard with their hands flying all over the place and pushing all the random buttons. :D**

**And…****911negotiation****…she put me through cardiac arrest, and THEN a heart attack, thanks to her freakishly amazing review. Is it possible to be such an amazing reviewer? Seriously! I DIED, then came back to life, reread the review, and then died…again! Thank you so much—serious respects. And everyone should totally check out her story, 'The Prices I Pay', which I've repeated a thousand million times, is the BEST HidaKaku/KakuHida story you'll find out there…ever! Trust me on this one… ;)**

**And of course, thank you to all my other beautiful, lovely, amazing, down-right-sexy reviewers. I love every single review I get from you all…and I would reply to every single one, but…I'm too lazy. X) Forgive me…but just remember that I love you guys! You guys are seriously the BEST and HOTTEST people out there. XD**

**I'll try to update as soon as possible!**

**Love, love and love again,**

**Harmony**


	7. HELP WANTED

**WARNING: Kinda filler chapter ahead…sorry guys!**

CHAPTER 7: HELP WANTED

"Konan, Konan, open up, yeah!" Deidara called out loudly, hammering away on her door. There was a moan on the inside of the small house before the door was yanked open, revealing a very rumpled and very emotional-looking blunette.

"What?" Konan snapped at the blonde grumpily. Deidara brushed it aside and stepped past Konan and into her home.

"Itachi and I are worried about you," Deidara answered her, "I mean, ever since your breakup with Pain, we haven't seen you around…at all, yeah! We thought you died or something!"

Konan sniffled and shuffled towards her living room. Deidara followed warily, scared that the blue-haired woman would snap anytime and chew him out.

…Or beat him over the head with her crowbar…

Konan plopped onto her couch the moment she was at arm's reach, and Deidara looked around her living space in horror. Ice cream cartons lay everywhere, and movie covers and disks lay scattered all over the place…and what's worse, the stalker song (Every Breath You Take by The Police) was blasting through his friend's stereo. Konan grabbed a cushion from the couch and hugged it tightly to her chest. Deidara sighed and plopped down on the floor right in front of her.

"I'm such an idiot!" Konan wailed loudly. "I don't even know what I was thinking…! Fuck myself! Fuck myself with something extremely hard and sandpapery!"

"I'm assuming you're talking about breaking up with Pain, yeah," Deidara sighed, playing with his blonde locks. "And yes, that wasn't exactly…smart on your part."

"I miss him so much…" The blue-haired woman sniffled pathetically on the couch, rocking back and forth and back and forth.

"Why did you break up with him in the first place, yeah?" Deidara asked, honestly curious. The question had been nagging him for a while now, and even though this didn't seem exactly like the right time to be asking this, the blonde knew if he didn't ask now, he probably never would.

"I didn't mean to break up with him," Konan confessed tearfully. "Sure, I've been thinking about it for a bit, sometimes, but I never meant to break up with him. It just came out. I know that he loves me, and I love him so much too…but sometimes, it just feels like we're kissing each other and spending time with each other because it's what people expect us to do. Everything seemed so meaningless and boring…"

Deidara stared at her blankly before asking quietly, "You broke up with your soul-mate because things got boring?"

Konan sniffled again and rubbed at her nose before nodding. Deidara's expression suddenly became mutinous, and before Konan knew it, the blonde was throwing movie case after movie case at her.

"What the _hell_ were you thinking, yeah?" He was screaming loudly. "I love you and everything, but that has to be the most _fucked-up_ reason to break up with the person you love most!"

Konan gave a high pitched screech as _The Titanic_ came sailing to her face at a hundred miles per hour. It smacked her right in the face with a satisfying thud, and Deidara grinned a bit smugly before his face morphed into a horrified expression, finally realizing what he had just done.

"Oh my gosh," Deidara gasped, running up to his friend's side and kneeling beside the couch. "I'm so sorry! Konan? Konan! Talk to me, yeah!"

Konan sat up, wincing slightly while she gingerly touched her nose. "Okay, I guess I deserved that…" Deidara shook his head rapidly.

"No, no, that was way over the line. I'm so sorry, Konan, yeah." Konan nodded and gave Deidara a watery smile.

"It's okay, seriously." At Deidara's worried and sad pout, Konan gave a giggle, the first sign of happiness that Deidara had seen in a while from her. She reached over and pinched both his cheeks in her hands and squealed silently. "Aww! You're just soooo adorable! Don't worry about it Dei, I deserved it…and even if I didn't, well, you're just too cute to stay mad at!" 

Deidara pulled away, blushing and rubbing at his sore cheeks. "I'm gonna take that as a compliment, yeah." He grumbled then sighed. "But seriously Konan, that's some messed-up reasoning."

"Well yeah, now that I think about it, it is." Konan agreed readily. Deidara sighed and grasped at his friend's hand.

"You still love him," Deidara said, and without waiting for confirmation from the blunette, he continued. "And I'm gonna bet that he still loves you too, yeah." Konan looked ready to protest, but Deidara quickly continued before she could. "You know what you have to do, yeah? You have to go back and tell him!"

"He's not gonna want me back." Konan stated with a sad smile. "No guy's gonna want a girl back after she broke up with him…on their four year anniversary."

Deidara frowned at that and looked up at the ceiling thoughtfully. "If he loves you as much as I know he does, he's definitely gonna take you back, yeah. If it was my soul-mate coming to me and admitting that they were wrong, I would definitely take them back, yeah…" Deidara trailed off, looking away, making sure to not look at Konan.

The blunette frowned and gave her blonde friend a great big bear hug. "Oh Dei, you're gonna find someone amazing, I just know it." She whispered to him. He grinned back and returned her hug, tenfold.

They sat there, just enjoying the comfortable silence. In the end, it was Deidara that broke the silence. "So are you gonna win him back, yeah?" 

He heard Konan laugh lightly, and he smiled at the bell-like sound. "Yes, I will. But only if you promise that I can be your maid-of-honour at your wedding."

Deidara jerked away from her grasp, looking thoroughly insulted. "Hey! I take insult to that! I will _not_ be the bride when I get married, yeah!" 

Konan threw her head back and laughed again, and Deidara couldn't help but laugh with her.

"Whatever you say, Dei. Whatever you say…"

-o-

_Have you ever had a job before? If so, please specify._

Kisame stared at the question before rubbing at his head. He was sitting in that little diner where Itachi worked, seated in the waiting area with an interview sheet sitting on his lap and a pencil in his hand.

The blue-tinted man had taken to routine and had come to the restaurant everyday for lunch, and sometimes dinner. He was thoroughly broke thanks to the diner. When he was going there for lunch today, he saw the big, bold 'HELP WANTED' sign on the door, and without a second thought, Kisame leapt into the store and demanded (very nicely) an interview sheet. So here he was now, filling out the form and hoping to get the job.

Kisame tapped the pencil against his thigh for a moment before scribbling down his answer.

_Yes, I worked as a cashier in McDonalds when I was sixteen to eighteen._ He finished filling out his old manager's name and phone-number in the blank space before continuing to his next question.

_If you answered yes to the previous question: why did you quit your old job?_

Kisame scratched at his nose lightly before trying to think of a valid answer. Because in all honesty, he had quit the job just because…he got bored of counting money all day? He sighed and filled in the line. 

_I became too busy in university, so I had to quit._

Kisame nodded in satisfaction at his answer, because it seemed pretty reasonable, and gave a great sigh of relief when he saw he was at the last question.

_Why do you want to work Haru's Diner?_

The blue-man stared at the question for a moment before chewing nervously on his lip. What the hell should he write? Oh, because I think I'm in love (or just completely infatuated) with one of your waiters, so I've decided to take up this job so I can be nearer to him everyday (don't worry, I'm not a stalker!).

Yeah, that would swing well.

Sighing, he began scratching out the words onto the paper and stared at his answer when he was done.

_I want to work at Haru's Diner because I've always wanted to see what being a waiter is like. Also because you guys have amazing spaghetti._

He snorted. Not much better than the truth, but it would have to do. Kisame walked up to the pretty girl who had given him the interview form in the first place with a smile. The girl looked over the form briefly before glancing up to Kisame with an all-too-fake-grin. "We'll call you in a week to notify you if you've received the job or not!" She said in a way too perky manner, but Kisame didn't let that deter him.

"Thank you," he replied easily, and with a wave, he left the diner.

"I hope I get that job…" He muttered to himself as he made his way back home.

-o-

"What are you so fucking twitchy about?" Hidan asked while taking a sip at his strawberry daiquiri. In his defense, the pinkish liquid was rather delicious. Kisame looked at the albino and shrugged hopelessly.

"I signed up for a job, and I'm just hoping that they'll call me back soon," Kisame replied. Kakuzu raised a questioning brow.

"A job?" He inquired. "What kind of job?"

"Um…" Kisame hesitated to answer his friend, but he finally relented after a few seconds. "You know that diner downtown? Yeah…I signed up for a job there…"

There was a brief silence before the group of friends broke out into excited chatter. Pain was glancing around in confusion (seeing as he didn't know about Kisame and Itachi) and Hidan was once again, laughing like a madman.

"I'm guessing you only signed up for the job to be nearer to your loverboy, am I right?" Sasori asked nonchantly, a dangerous smirk playing on his lips. Pain glanced around, rubbing at his orange hair.

"What? What loverboy?" He asked loudly. Sadly, he was ignored at the moment.

Kakuzu groaned loudly and stared at his blue friend almost disappointedly, "I thought you were different, Kisame." The brunette grumbled out. "But you're just as pathetic as Pain." 

"Hey!" Kisame and Pain yelled out simultaneously.

"In my defense," Kisame cried out defensively, "I needed a job in the first place. The economy is completely shot right now! And this was the first place I've seen in forever that had a 'HELP WANTED' sign on their front door!"

Kakuzu shrugged. "It's true…" He muttered.

Hidan sat back up in his chair from his slump over position. He was chuckling happily and most of his daiquiri was now decorating the front of his shirt. "Yeah…yeah right," the albino managed to pant out between breathless chuckles, "you just wanna…wanna be fucking closer to that waiter dude…seriously, you suck at lying, bastard."

Kisame turned purple and spluttered out indignantly, "Shut up, Hidan!"

Sasori chuckled before standing up and patting Kisame on the back in a friendly manner. "Well I hope you get the job, loverboy," the redhead said with an almost evil grin. "If you guys will excuse me, I just noticed a hot babe who's begging to be fucked." He winked at his group of friends before more or less; swaggering to a giggling group of girls whose eyes were following Sasori's every move.

Kakuzu sighed and glanced around the table. "How many people do you think Sasori's going to have sex with tonight?"

Hidan glanced over to the horde of girls, all who were batting their eyelashes at their redheaded friend. The albino snorted. "Probably the whole fucking lot of them." 

Pain nodded in agreement while Kisame looked slightly constipated. Kakuzu nodded in understanding and twisted his head, counting the number of girls that Sasori was currently flirting with. Seven. The brunette sighed and whipped out his notebook and pencil again before flipping through the book and adding seven more tallies.

"How many tallies are in the thing, man?" Kisame asked. Kakuzu looked over and snorted.

"Like hell if I'm gonna count all those tallies. Besides, I have two more filled up notebooks at home." Kakuzu replied easily. "But you're free to count it if you want to."

Kisame sighed. "No thanks, I'd rather not know how many people Sasori's had sex with."

"Can't you two old fucks just say 'fucked' or 'screwed' like the rest of us?" Hidan asked loudly, ignoring the lethal glares that were directed at him.

"I'm not _that_ old…" Kisame muttered, patting his head still full of hair.

"By the way," Pain mentioned offhandedly, thankful that for the first time in a long while they weren't talking about his pathetic relationship. "Who's Kisame's loverboy?"

-o-

**Not my favourite chapter, probably not yours either, it was a bit too choppy but I had to fit in some things in this chapter. Like Konan, because, let's face it, I've kinda been neglecting her character, so I had to fit her in, and also Kisame's interview sheet, just to get the story going.**

**But hopefully, the next chapter will be much more interesting. Coughcoughcough*Deidara's lesson at the YMCA, teaching Sasori*coughcoughcough…Sorry, bad cough…Ahem…**

**And ****911negotiation****, ****DancingPinkCows**** and ****Oliver Tobias March****, you three are gonna be the cause of my demise, but if how I go is through some fatal heart attack because of your awesome reviews…well then, murder away! Love the three of you (awesome, sexy people) soooo much right now! XD**

**And of course, thank you to everyone else as well! You're all so amazing! Yeah!**

**Well, anyways, I still hope you got a little kick out of this chappie. More of a filler chapter, but it had to be done! Sorry!**

**I'll try to update soon, pinkie promise!**

**Hugs,**

**Harmony**

**P.S. We're almost at the hundred mark! OMG! Can you guys believe it? Cuz I can't, I'm just staring at all the reviews going like, "Wubba wubba…wubba wubba…" **


	8. Not My First Kiss

**WARNING: Well…not really a warning, cuz you guys will probably love it…but this whole chapter is like…made out of molestation…so, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!**

CHAPTER 8: Not My First Kiss

Sasori hummed happily to himself. He was walking through the YMCA building, looking for the designated door in which the lesson for pottery and clay sculpting will begin in ten minutes. The redhead's hands were stuffed in his jeans' pockets, and he was practically floating at the prospect of seeing Deidara again.

He glanced at the doors until the sign with 'C3 – Pottery and Clay Sculpting' caught his eye. He slowed down and meandered to the door before pushing it open. The room was relatively empty save six tables and chairs facing north with the teacher's table (no doubt) facing south. There were boxes stacked in the back with the words _Clay_ written neatly in Sharpie on them and simple paintings that were lined up against the wall seemed to be the only splash of color in the otherwise white and bland room.

The room was empty and Sasori checked his wristwatch. Twelve-twenty-two. He was eight minutes early. Sasori shrugged and plopped down on one of the empty tables, closest to the teacher's. Better early than late, the puppeteer supposed with a light shrug.

He tapped his fingers against the desk in a bored fashion while glancing at his wristwatch every now and then. Suddenly, the doors leading into the classroom opened again and Sasori perked up. Deidara stumbled into the classroom, holding two heavy looking cardboard boxes in his arms. Sasori grinned mischievously. Suddenly, Deidara stumbled but before he could trip, a pair of arms was wrapped around his waist, halting his movements.

"Hey there, sexy," a horribly familiar voice said, "fancy meeting you here." Deidara stumbled and looked around the boxes and came face-to-face with Sasori.

"What the—?" Deidara gasped. "What are you doing here, yeah?" 

Sasori smirked playfully and let go of the blonde's waist and grab the two boxes. He placed the boxes on the teacher's table before pivoting around to face Deidara. "I'm your student, baby!"

"…Huh?" Deidara said intelligently. Sasori chuckled and leaned forward, wrapping his arms around the blonde and pulling him closer before burying his head in the long-haired male's neck.

"Mm…" Sasori cooed into the skin at Deidara's neck. "I'm here to take lessons on pottery and clay sculpting, babe."

Deidara couldn't help but shudder as Sasori let his lips brush against his pale column almost innocently. "What? You…you're into sculpting, yeah?"

"Sure, sure…" Sasori drawled out distractedly while moving up and letting his lips linger on Deidara's ear. He became bolder and began nibbling on the blonde's earlobe, taking the tender flesh between his teeth and sucking feverishly on it. Deidara gasped in shock and began to push Sasori off and away from him.

"Let…let go of me!" Deidara cried out, pushing against the redhead's shoulders in a weak show of defiance. Sasori simply chuckled. "You're being…ah! You're being a very bad student, you know, yeah!"

Sasori pulled away and smirked playfully at the blonde. "Punish me then, teacher…" He whispered seductively to Deidara before leaning down. Just as Sasori's lips were about to brush against Deidara's, the door opened.

"I'm sorry, but is this the—" The woman's voice trailed off, and Deidara, with his face turning a million shades of red, managed to finally push the puppeteer off of him.

"The pottery and clay sculpting class? Yes, yes, come on in, please, yeah." Deidara said quickly, pushing Sasori away and shooing him to one of the tables. Sasori sat back on his desk and grinned happily as he continued to watch Deidara make small talk with one of the parents.

-o-

"'Kuzu…" Hidan moaned from the couch. "I'm fucking bored…"

Kakuzu looked up from where he was rearranging his tax forms. He spared the albino a glance before going back to his calculations. "Well what do you want me to do about it?"

"Entertain me…" The Jashinist moaned again.

"Absolutely not," Kakuzu shot back readily, wincing at the thought of spending even _more_ time with Hidan.

"Entertain me, goddamnit!" Hidan barked out, sounding truly bloodthirsty.

"Fuck no! Entertain yourself, you uncouth idiot!" Kakuzu barked back just as viciously to the albino who was currently lounging around on his couch.

"Oh come _on_ Kakuzu…please?" Hidan begged in a whiny (and completely insincere) voice. "Please, please, please, with a cherry on top?" Kakuzu continued to try to ignore his platinum-blonde…acquaintance who he acquired through mutual friends. But he felt his patience (which was almost as bad as Sasori's) start and wither and die.

"Kakuzu!" Hidan's voice sang out happily. "You and I both know that I can keep this up for a fucking looooong time!" Kakuzu groaned in agony, because he knew it was true, and rested his head in his hands.

"Fine! I'll do something with you, just shut the fuck up!" Kakuzu roared out finally. And almost instantly, Hidan fell quiet.

"I wanna watch a fucking movie!" Hidan called back after the momentary silence.

"Go look in my movie cupboard; you know where it is…" Kakuzu grumbled back, a toxic bite to his words. He heard Hidan groan out exasperatedly.

"I don't wanna watch your gay-ass sixties movies. I wanna go to the fucking movie theatre!" Kakuzu almost ripped apart his tax forms in anger and frustration.

"I'm not gonna waste my money on some movie that you can watch on the internet illegally after a few weeks!" The brunette snapped. There was another brief silence, but Kakuzu knew it was too good to last. And he was right. After a few seconds, Hidan began crying out again.

"Come on, 'Kuzu, please! Please, please, please, please, please! I'll do anything! Come on you old fucktard!"

Kakuzu tore at his hair in frustration.

-o-

"So you have to do this…and then, here we go! A pretty pot, yeah!" Deidara demonstrated to the class of six students. He held the clay pot up in the air with flourish for all of them to see. Sasori smirked in his seat while the rest of the class (with their ages ranging from eight to eleven) 'ooed' and 'aahed' at the intricate piece of pottery.

"Alright," Deidara continued after placing the pot back onto his desk. "Now I'm gonna hand out some clay and you guys can start making your pots, yeah. But since I only have one spinning wheel, you guys are gonna have to take turns."

"Yes, Deidara," the class chorused together (Deidara refused to be referred to as Mr. Iwa). The blonde walked around the class, distributing the grey clay. He gave Sasori his share of clay last.

"Thanks, babe," Sasori whispered softly to Deidara, so only the blonde could hear. He let his hands linger on the sculptor's for longer than necessary before Deidara pulled his hands away, blushing.

"Okay, you guys can start now!" Deidara said once he was back in the front of the class. "Just raise your hand and tell me if you need help, yeah."

The class began to work diligently on their pottery and almost immediately, Sasori's hand shot up. Deidara turned away and pretended not to see Sasori's extended hand. The redhead's hand began to wave about frantically in the air. A little girl, sitting right behind Sasori, raised her hand up politely.

"Yes, what is it, Kaede, yeah?" Deidara asked. Kaede blushed and fiddled with her fingers for a moment before answering the blonde.

"Deidara, he needs help," Kaede pointed out helpfully, pointing a stubby finger at Sasori. The puppeteer felt a sudden need to give the little girl a great big bear hug. Deidara's shoulder stiffened before he thanked Kaede nicely for informing him, and turned around to face Sasori.

"What is it?" He growled out. Sasori pouted, looking hurt for a brief moment before grinning goofily.

"I need help, teach'," He said, pointing to the grey blob sitting nicely on his table. Deidara groaned silently.

"Do you remember the first thing I told you to do when working with clay?" The blonde asked. Sasori cocked his head to the side before shaking his head.

"No, I was a bit, ah…_distracted_, you see," Sasori said with an innocent expression. Of course, the innocent delusion was rudely broken by the seductive undertone ringing in the redhead's voice. Deidara blushed, catching the meaning of his words, and turned his head away, using his hair as a curtain.

"Alright, well," Deidara started, nervously sliding closer to Sasori. He leaned down over Sasori's desk, and Sasori subtly leaned closer to Deidara's form. Sasori smiled lightly as he felt the heat emanating from the blonde male's body, even though they weren't brushing against each other. "First, you have to get all the air bubbles out of the clay, yeah. Like this." He whispered, before beginning to knead and punch the clay lightly. "You try." 

"Okay," Sasori whispered back and began to knead and punch the clay, mimicking the sculptor's graceful hand moves. "I don't think I'm doing this right, can you show me again?"

Deidara sighed and blew his bang out of his face, (even though it just fell back to the exact place) nodded and began kneading the clay again. "I don't—" Sasori started.

"Like this, yeah!" Deidara said and grabbed Sasori's hands in his own, hardly noticing that they were more or less, holding hands. "Here…" He cupped the puppeteer's hands within his own and began shaping them into the proper way. "You bend your fingers like this, yeah…" Sasori stared at Deidara, somewhat entranced by the blonde's bright, blue eye which seemed to sparkle and dance. "And you make sure your hands are kinda balled up…like this. Get it, yeah?"

Deidara looked up and finally seemed to notice their close proximity and the fact that he had the redhead's hands within his own. Blushing, he quickly let go. "Sorry, yeah." He said quickly before motioning to Sasori's balled up hands. "But anyways, that's how your hands are supposed to be when kneading the clay…"

"Thank you…Deidara," Sasori whispered and leaned in to the shocked blonde. But before his lips could brush Deidara's, he was interrupted (again). A little boy had his hands up in the air and was waving about frantically.

"Deidara, Deidara! I'm ready for the spinning wheel!"

Deidara straightened up and turned to the little boy with a forced smile. "Of course, Haru. Come here, I'll help you get the wheel all set up, yeah."

-o-

"Let's watch Harry Potter!" Hidan declared loudly, pointing frantically at the Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows part two movie poster. Kakuzu snorted.

"Potter nerd," Kakuzu muttered under his breath, but Hidan heard. The albino rounded on the older man with a menacing expression on his face. If it was anyone else, they would have wet their pants at the glare coming from Hidan's purple eyes.

"Fucking old geezer," Hidan replied readily.

"Loud-mouthed idiot."

"Cheap bastard."

"Sadist of a creeper."

"Cocksucking, asswipe miser."

"That's it—!" And without a second thought, Kakuzu had reeled his hand back and delivered a harsh blow onto Hidan's smooth, pale cheek. There was a resounding thud before Hidan stumbled back and began crying out dramatically, accusing Kakuzu of being a complete 'motherfucking jerk' and declaring the brunette to be the worst acquaintance ever.

And in the end, maybe Kakuzu did have a heart (and a guilty conscience), because somehow, Hidan had managed to make the cheap man pay for the two Harry Potter tickets and buy a kiddie sized popcorn and coke for the albino. Kakuzu later claimed that he only relented and bought the tickets (and the ridiculously small food and drink) because Hidan wouldn't stop melodramatically crying out his woes and he was making a scene (cue the sarcastic "Right" from Sasori).

-o-

"I'll see you all next week, yeah!" Deidara waved happily to his students, and they all waved back, enthusiastically.

"Bye Deidara!" The bunch of little voices chorused before the door was closed and Deidara was left alone in the white classroom.

Well, almost alone…

"Why are you still here, Sasori, yeah?" Deidara asked, rounding on his eldest student with a little frown and crossed arms. Sasori frowned right back at the blonde and glanced sadly back at the clay sitting on his table.

"I didn't get to use the spinning wheel." The redhead mumbled. In all honesty, he really didn't care if he got to use it or not, but he just wanted to spend more time with Deidara, and this seemed to be the perfect excuse.

Deidara sighed loudly. "Look, I'll let you finish your pot and use the spinning wheel next week, okay, yeah?" Sasori pouted and shook his head stubbornly.

"I want to use it this week!"

"Sasori…" Deidara growled out the name menacingly, but the redhead just smirked smugly, as if knowing he was about to win this argument.

"Deidara…" Sasori drawled out, growling lightly but for a totally different reason. They stared at each other for a brief moment before Deidara snapped.

"Fine!" He huffed out angrily. "I'll help you get the wheel set up, yeah." He sat in front of the spinning wheel and Sasori watched in light wonderment as the wheel began to spin.

"Come here," Deidara's voice broke Sasori from his musings, and the redhead sauntered up to the machine with a light sway to his hips.

"So how do I do this?" Sasori asked, sitting down on the chair in front of the spinning wheel and plopping his blob of clay onto the wheel. Deidara sighed.

"Okay, first you put your hands like that," Deidara motioned for Sasori to follow, and the redhead did, copying Deidara's hands and placing them on top of the clay. "Then, you just keep your hands steady and continue to shape the clay until they look like how you want them to look…"

Sasori began shaping the clay, but for some reason, the grey substance seemed to not want to work with the puppeteer and his pot kept looking and staying malformed and wilted.

"Ugh, it's not working…" He drawled out, looking over his shoulder at the blonde who stood right behind him.

"Keep your hands steady, yeah," Deidara replied with a shrug.

"I can't," Sasori lied easily. He had the steadiest hands ever. Being a puppeteer who crafted puppets and their fine details using sharp and potentially life-threatening knives had made his hands rather steady.

Deidara huffed again before leaning down and putting his right arm over Sasori's right arm and his left arm over Sasori's left arm. His blonde hair brushed teasingly against Sasori's neck and ear, and the redhead couldn't help but shiver lightly as Deidara's breath brushed against his earlobe almost teasingly.

"Like this," and Deidara began directing Sasori's movements. Sasori watched as their intertwined hands began shaping the malformed clay into a rather decent looking pot (for a beginner). He bit his lip and chanced a glance up at the blonde. Deidara was too busy watching the pot being made to notice brown eyes staring up at him, and Sasori watched as Deidara's eyes lit up and shone happily while shaping the clay.

"And there…we're done, yeah," Deidara said softly and relinquished his hold on Sasori's hands and arms, and backed away, taking the still slightly wet clay with him. Sasori watched as Deidara walked to a table in the back, placing Sasori's pot almost lovingly on the table with the other students' pots. "We can glaze them next week." Deidara mentioned offhandedly.

"Deidara…"

The blonde turned around at his whispered name and was instantly trapped between Sasori's warm body and the cool wall. Deidara gasped before beginning to struggle, but his wrists were held against the wall by Sasori's own hands, and the redhead managed to hold on tight.

"Let. Me. Go! You pervert, yeah!" Deidara cried out, tossing his head angrily. Sasori just continued holding the other man against the wall until he had calmed down. "Sasori…let me go…"

"Mm…" Sasori leaned down and nibbled on Deidara's collarbone. He smirked against the skin and began teasing the flesh between his teeth. Deidara bit his lip, trying to hold in his moans at Sasori's ministrations.

"St-stop…" Deidara said, and internally cursed himself at the stutter. "Sasori, stop…" He felt Sasori shake his head and felt the redhead's lips begin to trail up his neck and jaw, until they reached his ear. Taking in the earlobe into his warm mouth, Sasori sucked on it hungrily, relishing in the shivers and slight moans that managed to get through Deidara's quivering lips.

"You taste so good, babe," the puppeteer whispered to the sculptor when he let go of his earlobe. He pulled back and looked at Deidara's flushed face. The blonde had his eyes screwed tightly shut, and he was biting his lip hard enough to bleed. When he felt Sasori pull away, Deidara opened his eyes.

"You know when I first met you and called you beautiful…" Sasori whispered casually to Deidara. "I wasn't lying."

Deidara refused to comment and just looked away from the intense heat behind Sasori's brown orbs. Sasori chuckled somewhat sadistically before leaning down to Deidara's lips. At the movement, the blonde jerked back with wide blue eyes.

"No! No way in hell! I am _not_ letting you take my first kiss, yeah!" Deidara cried out in indignation, beginning to shake his head frantically. Sasori leaned back slightly again and smirked playfully at the blonde.

"You've never been kissed before?" He asked, feeling unreasonably happy at the fact. Deidara shook his head again, his blonde hair flapping about his face crazily.

"Well…I can change that, babe…" Sasori whispered seductively and leaned in again. Deidara's eyes widened and he took advantage of Sasori's slackened arms and pushed the redhead away from him. Sasori looked up to see an enraged looking Deidara grab his bag and rush to the door.

"I have to go. See you later, you sick pervert, yeah!" Deidara called over his shoulder in a slightly wavering voice and then the door slammed closed.

Sasori continued to lean against the wall, lightly flushed at the thought of Deidara's flushed and slightly panting face. And as he grabbed his bag and made his way to the door, he wondered briefly why he felt so happy that Deidara had never been kissed before, and at the strange warm feeling bubbling from his chest.

-o-

**So much for not rushing and taking it slow, eh? XD**

**I love this chapter! This is seriously my favourite chapter so far…probably because of all the SasoDei I managed to stuff into this chappie. Yes!**

**And here's how everything stands right now…the SasoDei plot? Mostly planned. The PainKonan plot…some of it planned. The KisaIta plot…kind of planned...and the KakuHida plot…zero to nothing…yeah…I feel bad now. But I'm working on it!**

**And the random bits of Kakuzu/Hidan moment were just for laughs (and also for ****911negotiation****). And also because I realized that I hadn't fit any KakuHida moments into this story yet, but no worries! There will be KakuHida sooner or later…be sure of that…Mwahaha! ;)**

**Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! (It was my longest one so far!)**

**Love,**

**Harmony**

**P.S. Hidan…the Potter nerd. Haha…I just love imagining that! XDD**

**…oh, and a head's up, there may be a few OCs in the near future (I HATE OCs!) to move along the plot…I'm sorry to anyone who doesn't like OCs, but it had to be done! But I'll try to keep them in as little scenes as possible…promise!**


	9. Bad Day

**Anyone who can guess why Kakuzu's so against love gets a…um…a cyberhug from me. Yay! :D**

CHAPTER 9: Bad Day

Kisame happily bounded into the bar and to their usual table to see Hidan swearing, Kakuzu yelling right back, Pain drinking like his life depended on it, and Sasori pouting and looking glum. The blue-haired man raised an eyebrow at the sight before pulling out an empty chair and plopping down on it.

The moment he was sitting, Hidan rounded on him. "Kisame! Don't you think that Kakuzu's a motherfucking asshole of a bastard?"

"What are you guys fighting about this time?" Kisame asked amusedly. Kakuzu snorted and crossed his arms while Hidan began flailing his arms rapidly.

"That bitch got us kicked out of the fucking movie theatre! Such an asshole…seriously! I was enjoying that movie too! Goddamn you!" Hidan cried out the last sentence in Kakuzu's general direction, and everyone watched in morbid fascination as his spit flew all over the place and decorated the table in splotches.

"It was a gay movie anyways," Kakuzu snapped right back.

"It was not!" Hidan yelled out frantically. "It was the fucking bestest movie I've ever seen in my whole shitty life, you ape-shitting cocksucker!"

"What movie?" Kisame asked with a curious eyebrow raise. Pain separated his lips from his cup of daiquiri long enough to answer.

"Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows part two," the auburn man said, before lifting the alcohol to his lips again and drinking the whole thing in one go. Sasori watched dully. Kisame looked towards the fuming Hidan and shrugged lightly.

"Figures," he said before asking, "how did Kakuzu get you guys kicked out?"

"The asshole began fucking snickering and chuckling, LOUDLY, when Hermione and Ron kissed. Dumb Gaylord!" Hidan cried out, apparently not able to say a sentence that didn't involve calling the brunette a horrible name.

Kisame raised a brow and turned to the green-eyed male. "You laughed when Hermione and Ron kissed? What was so funny about it, man?"

Kakuzu snorted, "It was stupid, idiotic and unreasonable. Who would begin making out in the middle of a war?" He asked, trying to reason with his friend. Hidan just began strangling himself.

Pain lifted his head up again to supply everyone with an answer, "People who are in love and realize that they may die and never see their significant other ever again?" Sasori nodded in agreement with his friend's answer, and Kisame gave Kakuzu a pointed look. Hidan was so far off in the world of strangulation, he wasn't even aware of what was going on anymore.

"Love is stupid!" Kakuzu declared loudly and all his friends (save Pain and Hidan) sighed.

"It is, my friend…it is…" Pain mumbled in agreement and Kakuzu beamed proudly at the shorter man. Kisame's brow rose so high, it disappeared into his hairline.

"What's got Pain so depressed and emo?"

"You mean more depressed and emo than usual?" Sasori asked, clicking his fingernails on the table. Kisame nodded.

"Yeah, man."

"He saw Konan today hanging out with a dark-haired man today at the supermarket and well, he's been like this ever since." Sasori answered. Kisame noticed how Sasori's voice was a simple monotone without the usual cocky ring to it, and that his usual smirk had been replaced with a flat line.

"And how about you, Little Red? What's got you so depressed?"

Sasori snorted and looked away. His pout became even more prominent. "I'm not depressed." 

"Well okay, but you certainly aren't acting like your normal self…" Kisame trailed off when Sasori turned fully away from him, obviously ignoring his words. Kakuzu rolled his eyes.

"Ignore him, he's been like this all night," Kakuzu replied to Kisame's unspoken question. "He won't flirt with anyone. Not even the waitress!" The brunette fished out the notebook and threw it onto the table (completely forgetting that Hidan's spit was still decorating its surface) with a scowl. "I brought this out for no reason!"

Kisame rolled his eyes with a brief chuckle, "He won't flirt with anyone, eh?" He leaned over and managed to place his palm over the redhead's forehead. "You okay, man?"

Sasori growled and shook the offending appendage away. "Yes, I'm fine! I've just been kind of off all day."

"Didn't you have your YMCA classes today?" Kisame asked casually and watched as Sasori's shoulders stiffened.

"…Yes…" Sasori said through gritted teeth before standing up. "I'm going now, see you guys later…" And then he immediately left without even sparing a glance at all the girls staring in his direction. Kakuzu turned to Kisame with cocked eyebrows.

"See?" Kisame nodded before sighing.

"Ugh…he left, I was hoping to tell you guys all at once, seeing as I'm the only one here that's had a pretty good day today," the blue-tinted man said.

"Good day?" Kakuzu inquired lightly and Kisame smiled, exposing his sharp canines.

"Yep! I got the job at that diner, downtown," Kisame said happily and Kakuzu smiled back very lightly.

"Good job," the brunette said, "That's good, even though you only want that job to be nearer to that waiter…I still thought you were different." Kakuzu said with a sigh and a shake of his head. Kisame threw his head back and let out a hearty chuckle.

"Oh come on man! Why're you so against love?" Kisame asked with a crooked grin. Kakuzu glared at him, every trace of former, very little happiness disappearing as rapidly as it had come.

"You know exactly why…" He grumbled angrily. Kisame rolled his eyes at that.

"But that was so long ago, Kakuzu, seriously, love ain't that bad!"

"Whatever," the tanned-man said with a grunt before turning his head to Hidan's direction. "Do you mind driving Hidan home as well? I don't exactly want him slobbering all over my car."

Kisame glanced over and saw Hidan slumped over the table, obviously knocked out from strangling himself, and drool was leaking from the corner of his mouth. He was mumbling "asshole" under his breath every now and then. Pain wasn't in a much better shape, and he was lying face down on the table as well with daiquiri dripping from his face and down his shirt. Kisame rolled his eyes at the sight.

"Sure, sure, sure, just go," Kisame said with a wave of his hand. "I'm guessing you're leaving the bill to me as well?" 

Kakuzu had picked up the notebook and pocketed it in his jacket pocket again before snorting, "Like hell if I'm gonna pay for their drinks." He said simply before lifting up his hand in a lazy wave and lumbering off.

"Great…" Kisame said to himself before calling over a waitress and paying for the ridiculously expensive bill (seriously, how much daiquiri can an emo Pain hold?) before hauling and literally dragging his two unconscious and drunk friends out of the bar and into his car.

By the end of the night, Kisame managed to drop the still slumbering Pain home without interruptions but ended up staying the night at Hidan's dingy place.

(Hidan kept calling Kisame back with excuses of, "My back itches" and "My legs are cramping".)

-o-

"Okay, so this is your uniform, you can change in the change rooms later, I'll have someone show you where it is and give you a tour around this place…" the manager told Kisame before looking around. "Ah, Itachi!" Kisame's heart began pounding rather loudly at the name. "Come here!"

The Uchiha walked gracefully towards the duo, looking at Kisame somewhat cautiously. "Yes?"

"Can you give Kisame here a tour 'round the place?" The manager with a wide grin. "He's our new waiter."

Itachi continued to watch Kisame hesitantly before nodding at his elder's words once. "Of course. Follow me." He directed the last two words to Kisame and the blue-tinted man nodded, thanked the manager profusely and followed Itachi, mumbling and reminding himself to not fall or trip or stumble…just to not make a fool of himself.

"Hn, my name's Itachi," Itachi said after a moment of silence, and Kisame resisted the urge to blurt out 'I know!' excitedly. "I suppose we'll be seeing each other quite often now…well, more often than usual." The red-eyed man said after brief contemplation, remembering how Kisame came in for lunch everyday and sometimes dinner as well.

"Heh…yeah, ahem, my name's Kisame…but, um…ahem, Mr. Haru already told you…wubba…" Kisame said before mentally face-palming himself at his stutters and voice-cracks and the…horrid 'wubba'. Itachi said nothing, already used to Kisame acting like a fool.

"So here's the doors leading to the kitchen," Itachi said, motioning to twin pairs of metal doors, "you bring in orders here and get the ordered meals from here as well. I'm sure Mr. Haru already told you how the whole ordering and paying procedure goes, am I correct?"

Kisame nodded and tripped over his own feet. Itachi raised a brow but said nothing.

"Hn. Well, here are the change rooms," Itachi said after walking for a bit, gesturing to a door with a crooked sign that read 'CHANGE ROOMS' on it. "You can change into your uniform here, but you can also come dressed in your uniform already. Coming in dressed is better as it would save us more time." He walked a bit more and came to a door that said 'EMPLOYEES ONLY'. 

"There's a freezer in here, and this is where we keep all our frozen foods such as meat or vegetables. You probably wouldn't ever have to come here, but if some one asks you, for example, for the frozen bag of carrots, you would come here." Itachi said monotonously and Kisame nodded frantically to show his understanding.

"Alright, and that's basically it." Itachi said and showed Kisame to the change rooms again, gesturing for the blue-tinted man to go into the room. "You can change now, I'll wait outside."

Kisame nodded, muttered a quick, "T-Thank…ahem…thank you…wubba", and disappeared into the room. Once inside, he let out the breath he had been holding and rubbed at his throat. His throat itched for some unexplainable reason, and he was sweating like a maniac. He breathed in deeply before pulling out his uniform and putting it on.

"This isn't good, man…this isn't good…" He muttered to himself as sweat began running down his face, just at the thought of the Uchiha. "And what's with the uniforms? They're so…tacky…"

-o-

"It…was…_horrible_!" Kisame moaned into his hands. Sasori sat down next to the grieving man and awkwardly patted him on the back.

"There, there?" The words came out as more of a question than anything. Kisame only groaned loudly in his hands, the noise coming out muffled and indiscernible.

"I made such a fool of myself, man!" Kisame moaned and lifted his head up to show Sasori his horrified expression. "I tripped over my own feet, spilled a customer's coke all over the place, stuttered like an idiot, Itachi probably thinks that the only word in my vocabulary is 'wubba', and…and…how in the world can you act so smooth and cool all the time?"

Sasori ran a hand through his messy, red hair and gave an exasperated sigh. "You're either born smooth and cool, or you're not born smooth and cool. It's genetic."

"YEARGH!" Kisame cried out in anguish and buried his face deeper in the crevice of his arms. Sasori groaned loudly and grumbled something along the lines of "You're even worse than Pain" before sighing in agitation.

"I'm sure it wasn't…that bad," Sasori offered pathetically. "You just have to get used to working alongside Itachi, and then everything will run a lot smoother."

"Yeah right…" Kisame mumbled, "I'm a lost cause, a hopeless case…Itachi will never like me back…"

"You guys are pathetic!" Sasori snapped, his nonexistent patience snapping and blowing up in Kisame's face. "I mean, first Pain and then you? What's next? Kakuzu suddenly realizes that love is an amazing emotion, falls in love, and starts acting like a lovesick idiot? Or even worse, Hidan falls in love, gets dumped, and turns into a depressed freak who sits in his emo corner all day? Seriously, get a hold of yourself, Kisame!"

Kisame, overcome with the stress of working alongside Itachi, trying to make Pain not depressed, and being the person in charge of breaking up Hidan and Kakuzu's fights, finally snapped.

"At least we don't sleep around!" The blue-tinted man barked viciously (the most vicious he's ever been before) at his shorter friend. "Maybe me and Pain are acting pathetic, and maybe Kakuzu is a complete arse when it comes to the subject of love, and maybe Hidan is an uncouth idiot who may probably never find a significant other, but at least we have the decency to not have intercourse with every moving object!"

Kisame's chest heaved, and he watched angrily and smugly, before his expression morphed and his stomach dropped to his ankles and writhed and died as he watched the puppeteer's face fall and darken rapidly.

"Get out," Sasori growled out.

"Oh damn, wait, Sasori, I didn't mean—" Kisame stuttered, trying to explain himself to the redhead.

"Go."

"Sasori—"

"Just go!" Sasori snapped before somehow managing to push the much larger man out of his house and lock the door. Kisame stared at Sasori's closed door for a few minutes before sighing and running a large hand through his hair.

"Damn…"

-o-

**Wow…what the hell did I do? I seriously don't know. This was supposed to be a rather light-hearted chapter…but yeah…I made Kisame soooo (kinda) mean…sorry!**

**I have no idea how to fix this but…I'll try! Sorry if this chapter was kinda boring…I thought after last chapter's crazy SasoDei molestation scenes, I should tone everything down a notch. That didn't really work out that well, but…oh well! And yes, Kisame now works alongside Itachi; that should end well, eh? ;D**

**Umm…and probably not what you all thought would happen when Kisame got the job and was introduced to Itachi (again), you guys were probably expecting a lot more chaos, but I've decided to cut the guy some slack…and make him get into extra-awkward situations in the near future…so…Bwahaha! :D**

**And I'll try to update soon…but I'm not sure how soon, I have a three week vacation starting…tomorrow (I'm going to L.A, California, and Florida!)…so…yeah. But I'll try to update as soon as I come back! Yeah!**

**Loves,**

**Harmony**

**P.S. And, of course, thank you to all my super-mega-ultra-awesome reviewers. I love all of you! :D Cookies for all!**


	10. Infatuation

**Guess who has wi-fi on the airplane? That's right! This girl! Woot! It is currently…8:54 PM right now, and I am sitting in between my aunt and best friend, in the air, on a plane, somewhere over Florida, typing this.**

**…**

**Now is that dedication or what? XD**

**But I really wanted to post some more up before vacation ends, because the moment I come back home, well, school starts, and soon, I'll be updating so infrequently and soooo slowly, you guys would probably rip out your eyeballs from your eye sockets out of pure frustration and skewer out your intestines and stab them through a spear and—**

**You guys are probably thoroughly disgusted right now…**

**But I hope you guys enjoy this story nonetheless. Of course, I typed this out on the plane while sitting in between my sleep-talking aunt and best friend who is laughing like a madman (which he is) while watching some foreign Asian movie on the small airplane televisions. So, yeah, quality probably not the best, but I tried! Sorry guys!**

**And I'm sorry to anyone who doesn't like OCs. (In truth, I don't like OCs…but…) But for the sake of this story, I had to add them in. I'll try to not make them too big of a deal. D: Sorry guys!**

CHAPTER 10: Infatuation

Kisame swallowed thickly and rang Sasori's doorbell rapidly. There was a brief shuffle before a very irritated early-in-the-morning looking Sasori opened the door with a scowl and even messier hair than usual. The redhead stared at Kisame for a bit before his foggy mind registered who it was, and he blinked slowly. 

"Oh, hey," Sasori said, rubbing at one of his lidded eyes and letting loose a yawn. Kisame looked down and shuffled his feet.

"Hey…" The blue-tinted man looked around, flushing and seeming very awkward. "Um…I'm sorry if I woke you, but I just felt really bad about yesterday…I didn't mean any of those things, you know? I was just…stressed and frustrated and I guess I took my frustration out on you. I'm really sorry, man." Then, Kisame produced something from his back and Sasori blinked at what it was. Flowers. A bouquet of flowers. A bouquet of red roses. 

Aw, hell no.

"What—?" Sasori asked, blinking and praying to God that those weren't actually flowers.

"These are for you," Kisame said quickly, interrupting Sasori. His cheeks became flushed and purple. Sasori blinked slowly and raised a red brow. 

"Um…thanks, but…I'm sorry Kisame…I like you, but not like that. Besides, don't you have a thing for—?" Kisame seemed to catch onto what his friend was saying, and his blush intensified, tenfold. He shook his head rapidly.

"Oh no, no, no, no, no, no!" Kisame assured Sasori quickly. "Trust me, I don't like you, it's just, I didn't know what else to get you as an apology present and flowers were the only thing I could think of so…oh Jesus Christ, just take them!" The blue-tinted man stuffed the flowers into Sasori's hands and the redhead nodded slowly. Sasori disappeared into his house briefly and Kisame heard a few fumbling sounds before the redhead appeared again, hands free of the 'apology present'.

"Do you just wanna take me to a movie or something instead?" Sasori asked awkwardly, and Kisame nodded readily.

"Sure," he said, "I'll come by in two hours, okay?"

Sasori nodded, "Don't be late," he warned, and then he closed the door. 

Kisame gave a slight sigh; at least their fight had been taken care of. Then he thought of the bouquet of roses that were probably in Sasori's garbage can and winced. _Well, there goes my thirty bucks_.

-o- 

"Do you wanna watch Transformers?" Kisame asked and Sasori shook his head, glancing around at the movie posters with his usual smirk. Kisame couldn't help but sigh happily at the sight. He had obviously been forgiven, and that was a great relief. He hated when any of his friends were angry at him…especially when it was more or less, his fault.

"How about Captain America?" Sasori asked his taller counterpart. Kisame shook his head and ran a hand over his forehead.

"Nah, I don't really like Captain America. I don't see what's so great about him," Kisame elaborated when Sasori shot him an incredulous look. "He's just a guy with a shield, how amazing…"

"Easy on the sarcasm, Kisame," Sasori said with an eye roll, "we wouldn't want you to roll over and die."

"Shush!" Kisame said huffily, but a goofy grin spread across his face at Sasori's poke. But as he continued to look at the posters, he heaved a great sigh. "We didn't really think this plan through, did we?"

Sasori agreed with a nod before gaining a mischievous look in his brown eyes. "You wanna watch Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows? Then we can taunt Hidan about being able to watch the whole movie while he only watched three-quarters of it." Kisame chuckled heartily before patting Sasori on the back, playfully.

"Sure, man," Kisame said, and the two made their way to the ticket booths. Sasori leaned in close to the pretty brunette sitting behind the cashier with a flirtatious smirk and even more lidded bedroom eyes.

"Hello, gorgeous," Sasori drawled out and the girl blushed heavily before stumbling and smiling back shyly at the redhead. Kisame rolled his eyes. "I would like two tickets to Harry Potter, please."

"O-of course!" The girl stumbled around before pressing the buttons on the cashier rapidly, her face painted a deep red. "That-that'll be twenty-two dollars and seventy-nine cents…p-please…" Sasori fished around in his pockets before producing the exact amount.

"Here ya go, sexy," the redhead gave the girl a leisurely wink before leading Kisame to the right movie theatre. Kisame rolled his eyes and bounded after the shorter man.

"You're never gonna change, are you, Little Red?"

Sasori simply turned around with a wide smirk, dimples showing on his cheeks, and Kisame couldn't help but wonder how someone who looked so innocent can be such a big flirt/player.

"Never."

-o-

"We're here!" Sasori called out, strolling into Pain's apartment as if he owned the place. Kisame trailed in after him and looked around, seeing Hidan and Kakuzu lounging on the couch, not fighting for once, and Pain just lying randomly on the middle of the floor, staring up at his ceiling in a daze.

"Where were you fuckers?" Hidan asked from his lazy position. Sasori glanced in his direction and tossed the albino a sly smirk. 

"We went to the theatre and saw Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows," the redhead's smirk only widened when he saw the Jashinist's shoulders stiffen. "Very good movie, by the way. The ending was nice…"

Hidan turned around and Kisame winced when he saw that his face had turned a nasty shade of purple. "YOU GUYS WENT TO WATCH HARRY POTTER WITHOUT ME? I HATE YOU ASSHOLES!"

Kisame flushed and fumbled to explain himself while Pain propped himself up, amused by the show. Kakuzu just continued spacing off. "Well it was early, and we weren't sure if you were up yet…" The blue-tinted man held up his hands in a mock show of surrender.

"Fuck the two of you! Fuck the two of you with something extremely fucking scaly. Jashin damn the two of you to the fucking pits of hell." Hidan grumbled, plopping back down onto the couch with a melodramatic pout.

Sasori chuckled amusedly and sat down next to the albino. Hidan scooted away, closer to Kakuzu and farther away from the redhead. Sasori rolled his eyes at the sight. "We'll go watch the movie again with you next time, you uncouth idiot."

Hidan snorted, "You two better…" He mumbled threateningly and finally relented, uncrossing his arms and wiping away his (unmanly) pout. "So what do you bastards wanna do now?"

The room became a chorus of shrugs and moans of indifference. Sasori piped up, "Hey, Pain, go check your email."

The auburn-haired man rolled over onto his stomach and glanced at his best friend. "Why?"

"I just want to check if eHarmony found your compatible match yet." Sasori replied readily. "They did say that they should be able to find your match in about two weeks' time."

"It's only been a week and a half," Pain pointed out, and Sasori rolled his eyes in exasperation at his friend's ignorance.

"Which could be rounded to two weeks," the puppeteer reasoned and Pain (and almost everyone else in the room) raised a brow at Sasori's words. "Now go and check your email."

Pain grumbled but sluggishly got up and went to his computer. He turned it on and pressed a few buttons, going to his email. He looked over to his group of friends, and they all stared back just as intensely. After a few seconds of silence, Pain spoke up, "They found my compatible match," he said casually.

Suddenly, everyone had leaped up from their respective positions (with the exception of Kakuzu, who just seriously couldn't care less) and were crowding around Pain.

"Go check out who the bitch is!" Hidan urged frantically. He had already forgotten about his anger towards Sasori and Kisame. The redhead to blue-haired man both nodded in sync.

"Hurry up!" Sasori barked at the computer as it was loading the eHarmony homepage.

"Oh for…just be patient guys!" Pain snapped. "We'll see the results soon enough!" Sasori snorted and fell back with crossed arms.

"I hate waiting…" he mumbled, and on cue, the page finished loading and the results of Pain's compatibility quiz popped out. The four men stared at the results of a long, long time.

"She's hot…" Sasori was the first to break the silence. Hidan and Kisame nodded dully in agreement, and even Pain had to admit that the picture of the girl wasn't bad looking.

"It could be a fake photo, though," Kisame pointed out helpfully.

"But if it isn't…" Sasori whistled lightly and leaned closer to the screen to get a closer look at the girl. "…She's hot…"

"How did an ugly bastard like Pain end up with compatible matches with such a hot bitch?" Hidan questioned aloud, and the pierced-man shot him a sour look. 

"Gee, thanks…" He muttered sarcastically, and Hidan waved him off with something along the lines of "Yeah, yeah, fucking yeah."

"Let me…can you guys—? Let me read her goddamn information!" Pain snapped irritably at his three crowding friends, and they moved back with grumbles and lethal glares. "Okay…let's see…her name is Hitomi Ikimono…"

"A pretty common name," Kisame supplied and the others nodded in agreement.

"She is twenty-four years old…birthday is on July fifteenth…" 

"So she's younger than you by a few months," Sasori said, "that's always good."

"Her favourite movie is _Dear John_…" 

"Probably why they fucking paired you two together." Hidan pointed out with a smirk, and Sasori let loose a humoured chuckle. Kisame sympathetically patted the very irritated Pain on the back.

"Right…" Pain said, rubbing at his temples and feeling a huge headache coming along. "She dislikes spiders, natural disasters, the movie _Dirty Dancing_—"

"What?" Kisame exclaimed in indignation. "How can she not like _Dirty Dancing_?" Everyone (including Kakuzu who had no choice but to listen to the conversation) shot him strange looks. Kisame blushed hotly and looked down, fiddling with his fingers.

"Never mind…" The blue-tinted man mumbled. "Please, continue…"

Pain nodded with a slightly disturbed look on his face and continued, "She also doesn't like horror movies, the Hulk, guns, wars, and salmon." He looked around in surprise when no one interrupted him to add in an input, before continuing. "She likes sunsets and sunrises, flowers, pie, strolls along the beach or lakeside—"

"Compatible!" Sasori all but sang out loud and Pain shot him a glare that screamed 'SHUT UP!'

"—and waterfalls."

"I like waterfalls too," Kisame mentioned offhandedly.

"That's nice," Sasori replied noncommittally.

"Oh, and she's training to be a brain surgeon…" Pain finished.

"Don't they get a lot of fucking money?" Hidan asked the crowd in general. Kakuzu perked up at the mention of the beloved green bills and quickly lumbered his way towards the computer, squeezing in between Sasori and Hidan to get a good look at Hitomi's information.

"Brain surgeon? Money?" Kakuzu asked rather frantically before rounding on Pain. "I demand you go out with her!" Everyone stared at him in confusion and the brunette stared right back.

"For the money, idiot," Kakuzu elaborated at their confused glances. "Love still sucks crap." Everyone rolled their eyes.

"I think you should send her an email," Kisame told Pain, and the auburn-haired man looked up at his taller friend. "This may be a good experience, and even if the whole 'dating' thing doesn't work out with her, at least you'd be gaining a new friend!"

"Well, alright, sure I guess…" Pain mumbled, playing with one of his nose piercings. "But what should I write?"

"Ask her questions about herself," Sasori told him when everyone glanced towards him, needing his seductive tactics and guidance. "Girls love it when you ask them questions about them; it makes you sound like you care. But don't ask questions that are too personal, it makes you sound like a stalker. And only talk about yourself if she asks, but try not to brag; girls like guys who are modest, and always turn the conversation back to her."

Hidan snorted in amusement. "How many times did you get fucking rejected to realize all that shit?"

Sasori glared right back at Hidan, hardly intimidated by the albino's much taller and wider frame. "I never get rejected," the puppeteer replied haughtily. "Girls love me. And I can get anyone I want, girls and boys alike."

Hidan snorted again but uncharacteristically let the matter drop for now. "Tch, whatever the fuck you say…" Sasori frowned and his thoughts unwantedly flittered to Deidara, before he shook his head to clear it, and refocused back to the matter at hand.

"Okay…" Pain said, trailing off and cracking his neck with a sickening pop. He flexed his fingers and prepared to type. Suddenly, he felt harsh breathing against his neck and he looked up again, just to see his four friends more or less leaning right over him. "Guys—?"

"No, no, just ignore us," Kisame said with a toothy grin.

"Make sure you ask her how much money she would make when she does become a brain surgeon," Kakuzu added as an afterthought, and Pain facepalmed himself in exasperation.

"Can you guys move back?" He asked, turning around to face his friends. "I can't concentrate with you guys breathing down my neck! I'll let you see the email once I'm done typing it." He said, and his friends grumbled before moving back to his tattered couch.

"Fine…but you better fucking show us when you're done, asswipe!" Hidan called loudly before taking up the whole couch, just to spite Kakuzu.

"Yeah, yeah…" Pain grumbled before glancing warily at the keys. _Now where do I start? And I have to refrain from talking about my beautiful Konan! That's just a major turnoff! But…do I even want Hitomi to like me…? Whatever…Okay…I should probably start with an introduction… 'Hello, my name is Pain—' Oops! Spelled my name wrong…_

-o-

"Where is it, yeah?" Deidara grumbled to himself as he walked around the art store, trying and failing to find the pottery glaze. "Ugh…" He huffed angrily before noticing a worker there and making his way towards him.

"Um, excuse me, yeah…" The blonde said, tapping the worker on the arm. The worker turned around, and Deidara noticed that he looked fairly young, probably no older than himself. His ruffled, dark brown hair hung around his face in a tangled mess, and his green eyes shone (from the store's artificial light?). His mouth was stretched into an easy smile, as if he was remembering some hilarious inside joke and the tacky store uniform looked absolutely…horrible on him, but Deidara honestly couldn't care less right now. The blonde noted that the nametag on the man's uniform read 'Akio'. "Wow…" Deidara couldn't help but mummer in awe.

Akio looked fairly amused, and his green orbs twinkled even more. "Can I help you?" Deidara stood there for another slow second before his muddled mind caught on, and he blushed before stuttering out an answer.

"Yeah…I was wondering if you know where the pottery glaze is…?" Deidara trailed off, trying to be inconspicuous about his staring. Akio looked around the huge warehouse like store before nodding and gesturing for Deidara to follow.

"Yes…just follow me," Akio said, and Deidara sighed happily. Akio's voice was refreshing and soothing, it had a musical lilt to it, and Deidara found himself wanting to hear more of it.

"So, do you come here often?" The brunette asked, and Deidara suddenly remembered Sasori asking him a fairly similar question during the YMCA class less than a week ago. He shook the thought away.

"Mmhmm, I come here almost once every week, yeah," Deidara replied, trying to keep up with Akio's speed.

"So you're making pottery, eh?" Akio asked. "I'm guessing you're into sculpting and clay work then." Deidara nodded happily and continued to follow the store worker, weaving in between other shoppers, workers, and runaway carts.

"I'm teaching a class at the YMCA on pottery and clay sculpting, yeah," Deidara answered, and Akio turned around to shoot the blonde a blinding smile.

"That's cool, I'm into clay work and pottery as well…my room is filled to the brim with all the sculpture and pots I end up creating!" Akio said with an easy laugh and a shake of the head. Deidara grinned.

"I usually blow up all my pieces," he mentioned casually, as if talking about the weather. Akio turned around in shock, his lips in a perfect circle as he waited for Deidara to elaborate. "True art is an explosion, after all. Things that disappear in an instant is always more beautiful than things that last for a long time, yeah. Because then people would learn to appreciate it more, because they know that it won't last forever."

Akio stopped and Deidara halted his movement as well, right in front of the brunette. The blonde blushed as he stared down at their feet; their toes were almost brushing against one another. "I never thought about it like that, but I guess you do bring up a rather valid point." Akio said with a smile.

Deidara looked up, his eyes shining, and even though he wasn't exactly sure, he was quite sure that his face was painted red. "Really?"

"Yep," Akio answered, and his eyes danced merrily. He gestured to the shelves that they were standing in front of. "Here are the pottery glazes. Do you see the one that you need?"

Deidara bit his bottom lip, mentally scorning himself for acting like a schoolgirl with a crush, before looking up. He glanced at the rows upon rows of glazes before finally catching sight of the one he wanted. "That one!" He cried out, pointing. He leaned up; trying to reach it, but his fingers simply grazed the glass jar. "Damn it, yeah!"

"Here, let me," Akio said, and reached up, grasping the cool jar in his hands. "Here you go."

Deidara looked to the ground, holding the jar close to his chest and feeling a strange sense of déjà vu run over him. "Thank you, yeah…"

"So, are you ready to pay?" The worker asked the blonde happily, and Deidara looked up, dimpled, and nodded. "Great, I'll walk you to the cash registers. By the way, my name's Akio, just in case you somehow managed to miss the nametag." Deidara chuckled hopelessly and Akio glanced in amusement at the blonde.

"My name's Deidara, yeah."

And when Akio smiled at him, Deidara couldn't help but beam back. And all thoughts of Sasori were pushed back into the deepest corners of his mind.

-o-

"Okay, I'm done!" Pain called out with flourish, and he mentally congratulated himself for not even mentioning the name 'Konan' once in his email. There was a great hustle before all his friends crowded around the computer.

"'Hello Hitomi, my name is Pain Nagato. And apparently I'm your compatible match. So…let's talk. –Pain'" Kisame read out loud. Once he was done reading the incredibly short message, there was a pin drop of silence.

"You're shitting me." Hidan deadpanned with a monotonous look on his usually crazed face.

"It took you three hours to write three short sentences?" Sasori snapped at his best friend.

"Well I tried!" Pain snapped right back and Kisame sighed, rubbing at his head.

"You didn't even ask her about her income…" Kakuzu mumbled, crossing his arms and glaring at nothing in particular.

"Okay…you know what?" Kisame asked loudly over Kakuzu and Hidan's grumblings and Pain and Sasori's argument. "We're gonna help you…err…_rewrite_ the email."

And so, the five of them spent the remainder of the day trying to think up of a good email. In the end, they allowed Sasori to type up the whole thing (which turned out to be the smartest thing they did all day).

-o-

**Argh…we just went through turbulence and I swear I just snapped my neck. The joys of riding a plane, seriously.  
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**And the OCs…man, I hate myself! But I had to do it! I had to pair Pain up with someone for the whole eHarmony thing…and I just can't picture him with any other Naruto character. Same thing with Deidara…sorry everyone, but I'll do my best to make sure the OCs don't appear too often, or for more than one or two scenes, and I'm working on not making them into these perfect…absolutely stinking perfect Mary and Gary Sues. Promise!**

**I'll see you guys soon! (Hopefully back in Canada…America is REALLY hot! Like, burning, smoking hot!)**

**Hugs,**

**Harmony**

**P.S. And the beginning with Kisame and Sasori was kinda boring, sorry! But I wanted to build on their friendship and stuff; I didn't want this story to just simply be romance, romance, romance! I wanted to add some friendship in this as well…so…yeah…Besides, I hardly see any Akatsuki fics just about friendship, so…yay to friendships between fishes and puppets and bombers and immortals and misers and masochists and blunettes and cannibals and retards and Uchihas. Yay!**

**One more thing: I went to search up Sasori and Chiyo in the archives (don't ask…I just suddenly wanted to read a small ficlet of when Sasori was still a sweet little kid and his grandmother was there to guide him), and I found like…4 stories. FAIL! Argh! I can't **_**find**_** any good bonding grandma/grandson Sasori and Chiyo stories anywhere! ARGHHHH! I mean, why? Watching the episodes again, I believe that Chiyo still loves Sasori dearly, I mean, how could she not? YEARGH! I might just whip up some random little Chiyo and Sasori story just to get this out of my system… D: (rages)  
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	11. Root Beer Floats

**I…am…back! YEARGH!**

**I went through an Akatsuki fic binge…like just, I was inhaling every Akatsuki fic I stumbled across…it wasn't a pretty time…(being away from my beloved Akatsuki fics for almost three weeks would do that to someone…)**

**But anyways! I think this **_**might**_** be the last update before school starts on Tuesday…hopefully I'll be able to whip up one more chapter before that. Because after that…updates will be happening soooo slowly…you'd all probably stone me. It's gonna be my first day in a new high school as well…NOES!**

**Oh well…**

**You're not here to listen to me rant, so here's chapter 11! Another filler chapter though… D:**

CHAPTER 11: Root Beer Floats 

"How in the world did you manage to convince me to come with you?"

Hidan turned around and shot Kakuzu a devilish grin, his purple eyes danced with some not-so-out-of-the-closet insanity. "It's because you _love_ me 'Kuzu and you fucking know it!"

Kakuzu snorted and looked back down onto the sidewalk. "Forget I asked," he muttered irritably.

"Don't you wanna see Sharky make a complete ass of himself—?"

"And act like a lovesick idiot?" Kakuzu mockingly asked. He pretended to contemplate the question before crossing his arms and answering rather sullenly, "Not particularly…"

Hidan frowned and turned around, walking backwards so that he was facing the taller man. "Why're you so fucking against love anyways?"

Kakuzu spared a glance at the Jashinist, his emerald eyes roving over Hidan's body, before quickly averting his orbs. "Like hell I'm going to tell you." Hidan began scowling and looked ready to chew Kakuzu's head off, but the brunette quickly intervened just as the albino opened his mouth. "And don't walk backwards, you could bump into something."

The unspoken words of 'and get hurt' hung in the air, and Hidan grinned in triumph. "Ha! So you do care about me, you old fuck!" 

Kakuzu paused for a brief moment, before continuing walking again, though this time, at a much more brisk pace. His tone was completely monotonous when he answered. "Don't fool yourself, idiot. I just don't want to have to drag you to the hospital when you bump your head into a metal pole and fall into unconsciousness, causing you to lose the few brain cells you actually have and rendering you into nothing more than a useless vegetable."

Hidan looked completely lost when Kakuzu was finished with his little spiel, but the albino had gathered enough, and knew Kakuzu well enough, to know that the older man had insulted him. So, the Jashinist puffed his cheeks, opened his mouth, and delivered the best insult known to mankind.

"Well fuck you, dipshit!" The comment was accompanied by two flailing fists.

"Stop it with your brilliant insults," Kakuzu droned sarcastically. "You're killing _my_ brain cells."

"Your mother's a whore, bastard!"

"Like you can talk, idiot."

"Fuck you!"

"Oh look, we're here," Kakuzu said quickly, halting the argument before it got violent. As much as the brunette would love to bash the albino's rugged face in, he didn't exactly want to fight in the middle of downtown—

Kakuzu suddenly stopped. Hidan bumped into his back and began insulting him for randomly pausing, but Kakuzu was so far gone in his thoughts, he didn't even notice the rude gestures and comments being thrown at him.

—did he just…rugged? _Rugged?_ What the hell? 

"Hey 'Kuzu! You okay?" Kakuzu snapped out of his trance to see Hidan staring right at him, actually looking mildly concerned. "What the fuck are you thinking about?" 

Kakuzu pushed past the albino, banishing his thoughts into the deepest recesses of his mind before opening the door to the diner, and motioning for Hidan to go first. The albino lumbered in, shooting Kakuzu a look, but uncharacteristically refraining himself from prying. For the first time ever, Kakuzu was just a little bit grateful to Hidan.

They waited for a bit before being seated at a table by the big windows. Hidan began sifting through the menu, but Kakuzu just sat there, looking at everything aside from the Jashinist. Finally, Hidan looked up. 

"Hey, asshole, aren't you gonna look in your fucking menu?"

"I already know what I want," Kakuzu answered readily. Hidan cocked a brow.

"How many fucking times have you come here?"

"Once," Kakuzu replied, and Hidan cocked his other eyebrow.

"You're just gonna order the same fucking thing again?" The albino questioned. Kakuzu smirked, and the light scars marring his cheeks stretched along with it.

"Give the idiot a cookie; he might actually have a brain after all."

"Fuck you, bastard!" Kakuzu snorted, crossing his arms and looking away and around the diner.

"I'd rather you not." The brunette said, monotonously, and Hidan just stared, gaping for a few good seconds before regaining his lost composure.

"You suck, 'Kuzu! You really fucking suck!" The albino snapped, and Kakuzu opened his mouth, ready to retort when Kisame very suddenly appeared by their table. The two gave a light jump in surprise. Kisame had never been that stealthy before, and this made Kakuzu realize something very, very important. Either Kisame had been hiding all this inner stealth by his clumsy exterior, or being a waiter gave people super-awesome stealth moves.

The brunette shook his head. He was a reasonable man, so obviously option one was the one that made more sense.

That, and also judging from option two, he had been spending too much time with Hidan.

"Hey guys," Kisame said perkily. Kakuzu winced at all that pep. "What're you guys doing here?"

Kakuzu raised an eyebrow and gestured pointedly to his wristwatch. "Lunch."

"And also 'cuz we wanna see you make a fucking dumbass out of yourself," Hidan added, looking extremely smug of himself. Kisame gaped at the albino while Kakuzu rolled his eyes on the Jashinist's behalf.

"I will _not_ make a dumbass out of myself! That was just low, man." Kisame added, whipping out a pen and a notepad. "So what do you guys want?"

"I want—" Hidan began, but was quickly interrupted by a still slightly fuming Kisame.

"No! I refuse to listen to you, you spawn of the devil!" The blue-tinted man snapped readily before turning to Kakuzu, ignoring Hidan's spluttering. "What do you want, Kakuzu?"

"Meal C, extra gravy, no raspberry sauce, and a coke please." The oldest of the trio recited easily from memory, and Kisame quickly jotted it down. Finally turning back to Hidan with a satisfied grin, the blue-haired man was not surprised to see the albino flushed and fuming.

"And what do you want, _Hidan_?" Kisame drawled out. The albino flashed him the finger before huffing, opening the menu and reading aloud: 

"I'll have meal A, extra potatoes, extra gravy, no raspberry sauce…that shit is sick! And a root beer. Asshole." Kisame wrote it down quickly before shooting the albino a sly smile. 

"What? No 'please'?" 

"Go fuck your mother!" Hidan snapped, and Kisame laughed before waving and walking off with their menus. The moment Kisame was gone from sight, Kakuzu turned to Hidan with an incredulous eyebrow raise.

"Fuck your mother?" Hidan glared, and relaxed slightly when he saw the little bit of amusement dancing in the older man's strange, green eyes.

"It was the only thing I could think of, okay?" Hidan said, scowling and crossing his arms. Kakuzu rolled his eyes and clucked his tongue lightly before the two lapsed into somewhat comforting yet awkward silence.

Kisame came lumbering back moments later, holding two drinks in his hands. "Here you go," the blue-haired man said before putting down Kakuzu's drink in front of him. Just as he was about to place Hidan's root beer down, Itachi appeared from out of nowhere (Kakuzu was now beginning to wonder is option two was the correct answer).

"Kisame, I need you to help me grab some things from the storage room," the Uchiha said. Kisame suddenly turned into a bumbling and stumbling fool. Hidan began chuckling maniacally again, and Kakuzu rolled his eyes in exasperation.

"Sure…ahem…sure thing, Itachi!" Kisame said enthusiastically, ignoring the embarrassing crack of his voice. Hidan began howling louder, but his laughter was quickly cut short. Kisame had turned rapidly around to face his crush, forgetting all about the glass of root beer he held in his big hands. And in doing so, the liquid spilled and landed on the albino who had his mouth open in mid-laugh.

"Oh my—" 

"Kisame, be careful—!"

"That's going to leave a stain—"

"SHIIIT! MOTHERFUCKING, COCKSUCKING, DONKEY-HUMPING, MONKEY-LICKING ASSHOOOOOOLE—!"

-o- 

"Hey, baby," Sasori said, walking into the empty classroom, save Deidara, who sat at his desk, moulding some clay between his nimble fingers. The blonde looked up with a scowl.

"Don't 'hey' me and don't 'baby' me, yeah." He mumbled, going back to his clay. Sasori raised a brow before grabbing a chair from a nearby desk and pulling it up to the teacher's table. He plopped down on it and scooted closer to the sculptor so that their knees brushed whenever the other so much as moved an inch. Deidara refrained from moving away, but he refused to look at the redhead.

There was a tense silence before Sasori spoke up. "Babe, are you angry about last week?"

Deidara continued to mould the clay into a bird, and Sasori couldn't help but chuckle lightly as the long-haired man began unconsciously pouting.

"Oh come on," the puppeteer teased. "I couldn't help myself…you're just too sexy for your own good…"

Still nothing. Finally, Sasori gave an exasperated sigh before leaning even closer to the blonde. Deidara shivered at their close proximity, but kept his eyes firmly locked on the blob taking shape in his hands.

"Look, I'm not sorry about what I did last week," Deidara rolled his eyes at that, but didn't speak up, allowing the brown-eyed man to continue, "but I don't want you to be angry at me. I really, really don't want you to be angry." 

Deidara chewed on his bottom lip. He was slightly surprised at how genuine Sasori sounded at the moment. It was as if the seductive voice and flirtatious comments were nothing more than an act which had been temporarily stripped away for now.

When Deidara still refused to reply, Sasori rolled his eyes. "Well, I've got something for you…" He began, his hand already reaching in his jacket pocket to grab the gift. "But if you're not going to talk to me…I guess I can't give it to you."

The blonde's blue eyes flickered up to Sasori in shock, disbelief and curiosity. Sasori grinned smugly in triumph. Finally, after moments of hesitation, Deidara spoke up. "What…did you get me, yeah?"

Sasori leaned back and mock pouted. "Oh, now you talk to me, right?" He crossed his arms. Deidara huffed loudly before throwing up his hands in exasperation (the half-finished clay bird plopped onto the table).

"Yes, yes, yes, I'm talking to you. Now tell me what you got me, yeah!" Sasori's smirk melted into a grin at how excited the blonde looked, and the redhead couldn't help but compare him to a little kid on Christmas morning. He reached in his jacket once again, and this time produced a strip of paper from it. He passed it to Deidara who quizzically took it and read it before beaming.

"_Peter Pan_? You're giving me a ticket to the puppet remake of _Peter Pan_, yeah?" Deidara grinned happily and, more or less, began bouncing up and down on his seat. Finally, he calmed and shot Sasori a suspicious look. "What's the catch…?"

"No catch," Sasori leaned back on his chair. "I just thought that since you showed me your art, I should show you mine."

"Your art…?" Deidara trailed off thoughtfully before perking up, understanding. "Oh! You make puppets, yeah?"

"Mmhmm…"

"And…did you make the puppets for the play?"

"Yes." Deidara perked up at the prospect and shot Sasori a wide grin, all former hostility forgotten at the prospect of seeing the play.

"Wow…you must be an amazing puppet-maker then, yeah." Deidara murmured in barely-concealed awe, and Sasori smirked smugly at the gaping blonde.

"I'm one of the best," he sang, and Deidara rolled his eyes, but smiled. "Oh…but I guess there is a little catch…" Deidara's eyes narrowed and Sasori shot him an innocent look, which was instantly murdered and maimed by the seductive look burning in the redhead's brown orbs.

"You're going to go with me to see the show on that day." Sasori said. Deidara shrugged.

"That's not too bad—"

"I'm not finished!" The puppeteer interrupted happily, and Deidara looked down, frowning. "Since the play starts at five, it'll end at around seven-thirty. So you are obligated to have dinner with me…those are my terms, what do you say, baby?" 

Deidara frowned thoughtfully as he went through the pros and the cons. Finally, he relented with a sigh. "I'll go watch the play with you and have dinner with you. But _only_ if you promise not to try anything…and if you pay for the food and I get to pick where we eat, yeah!"

"Easily done," Sasori leaned back with a smirk.

Deidara looked nervous and almost apprehensive as he fidgeted in his seat. He seemed to be waging a mental war within himself, but finally he opened his mouth and all dispute seemed to evaporate. "I guess I'll see you next Sunday, then, yeah."

"I guess so," the puppeteer replied with a growing smirk.

"Um…well…bye then…"

"What the hell are you talking about, babe?" Sasori asked with a light chuckle. "You still have a class to teach!" He then pointed to the classroom clock which read ten more minutes until class begins. Deidara looked down with a delicate cough and a well rounded blush. 

"Right…" He muttered, and slid down on his seat when Sasori leaned in towards him with amused eyes.

-o-

"He spilled root beer on me…He spilled fucking root beer on me!" Hidan was complaining loudly while pacing up and down Sasori's floor, raging.

"Okay," Sasori replied, sipping from his lemonade while sitting on the couch and watching the albino curse up and down. "But you can't really blame him; you know how he gets around Itachi."

"Well fuck him! I'm gonna like, fucking stuff Kakuzu up his Goddamn ass!" Sasori paused and shivered at the thought of Kakuzu…up Kisame's ass. Well, he didn't plan on sleeping tonight anyways…

"He probably feels really bad right now."

"He better! And fucking Kakuzu, he didn't even try to fucking help me, that bastard!" Hidan's rage transferred from Kisame to Kakuzu in a blink of an eye. "All he did was sit there and gape at me like some fucking ass!"

"He was probably gaping at how you look wet…" Sasori muttered under his breath and Hidan whipped around, glaring at him.

"What the hell did you just say, bitch?"

"Nothing Hidan-baby!" The redhead chimed innocently. "Did I ever mention how hot you look when you're wet?"

Hidan looked thoroughly constipated at the thought, and visibly shivered before rounding on his shorter friend and snapping irritably at him, "Don't you even fucking try that shit on me! I'm as straight as a concrete ruler, Goddamnit!"

Sasori snorted. "Right," he muttered sarcastically.

Hidan's cheeks puffed up in indignation and he stomped to the door in a complete hissy fit. "I'm not gonna take your stupid shit; I'm leaving!" And Sasori breathed a sigh of relief and refrained from saying, 'That was my plan…now _leave_!'

As Hidan yanked open the door with ferociousness and proceeded to stomp back home, Sasori called out to his retreating figure. "Oh! And don't be surprised if Kisame gives you a bouquet of flowers tomorrow!"

Hidan turned back with an incredulous look on his face. "What the hell…?"

"Just warning you!" Sasori called out innocently, and Hidan snorted before flashing the redhead two lovely fingers.

"Don't say I didn't warn you…" Sasori muttered before chuckling sadistically.

-o-

**Because Hidan is a rugged beast! Yeah!**

**Another mindless chapter…there's a lot of these right now, but I can't help it. I need these mindless, brainless little chapters to help me build up to the good stuff! And also cuz I'm in kind of a rough patch right now (probably due to my vacation)…but it's getting better! And this is what happens when I'm tired and sleepy and have jet lag.**

**Anyways, I love all you guys! Seriously, rock on!**

**I'll try to update soon. Really!  
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**Hugs,  
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**Harmony**

**Note: And also, I've been asked a few times (twice, I believe) if Zetsu and Tobi will appear…and I don't really think they will. I just…Tobi's never been a favourite of mine. He's okay. And that's it! And Zetsu…I love him and everything (serious respects to plants now) but I just can't fit him anywhere in the story right now, especially now since I've got most (some) of the plot and storyline down. Sorry to anyone who's disappointed! D:  
><strong>

**Second Note: I finished the first part of the Sasori and Chiyo fic I'm writing (in thirty minutes…), so if you check that out, it'd be amazing! And one more thing, I'm really sorry about the OCs…I know some people HATE that stuff (like me! Man…I'm such a hypocrite) and I think I scared off some of my readers because of it… T.T**


	12. Lovable and Huggable

**Okay guys, this is seriously gonna be the last update before school starts. I crammed my butt off attempting to finish this today, so yippee! Seriously, I have so much today, between my two odd jobs, dog-sitting (don't ask…it involves a LOT of flees), volunteering at the animal shelter and rehab center…I…am…overfilled!**

**Seriously! I told **911negotiations** that I'll have a HidaKaku Christmas story written out for her…by Christmas…and I STILL haven't begun yet! And usually, I like planning ahead of time! ARGH! (So, yeah…**911**, brace yourself for either a VERY belated Christmas gift…or a very early one…)**

**And thank you everyone who's reviewed the last chapter…seriously! –glomps all of you- **  
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CHAPTER 12: Lovable and Huggable

"He gave me fucking tulips," Hidan complained loudly the moment Sasori sat down on one of the chairs. The redhead shot him an amused look.

"He gave me roses," the puppeteer mentioned offhandedly, and Hidan looked towards him, scowling.

"Should I be offended or something? Seriously."

Sasori blinked. "Why?" And Hidan rolled his eyes as if the answer should be horrendously obvious.

"Because roses cost more, you stupid fucktard." Sasori smirked lightly and leaned back on his seat. 

"Sounds like Kakuzu is rubbing off on you, eh, Hidan-babe?"

Kisame, Kakuzu and Pain walked in the moment Hidan shot out of his seat, streaked right across the table, and proceeded to strangle Sasori. Pain and Kakuzu plopped down on their seats, hardly fazed while Kisame took it upon himself to split the pair up.

"Hey…hey, guys…split it up!" Kisame yelled, prying Hidan off Sasori. The moment the albino was forced away from the redhead, he turned towards Kisame and socked him right in the face. Sasori and Pain gaped, while Kakuzu looked bored beyond himself.

"Oww!" Kisame cried out, cradling his rapidly swelling cheek. "What the heck was that for, man?"

Hidan glared daggers at the older man, before jumping on his back and yanking at his blue hair. "Fuck you, asshole! Just fuck you! You got Red fucking roses while you got me tulips? I'm so fucking offended right now it's not even funny! Seriously!"

The blue-tinted man yelped in shock as his hair was being yanked painfully, and Hidan just continued shouting and spraying everywhere. Pain and Kakuzu had looked away, used to the Jashinist's outbursts, while Sasori just smirked and gave a sadistic laugh.

"There…punch him right there…no! A bit more to your left…there!" The puppeteer cheered enthusiastically.

-o-

"I can't believe we got kicked out…again!" Sasori complained loudly as the five of them trudged to Pain's (he had absolutely no say in the matter) home. "I didn't even get any!"

Kakuzu nodded in agreement before fishing out the notebook and staring at it forlornly. "I know, I haven't added a tally in this thing for ages."

"You just added a tally in last week!" Kisame cried out, cradling his rapidly blackening eye. Kakuzu snorted.

"Exactly. It's been a whole week," the brunette said before pocketing the book in his jacket pocket again. "In Sasori-terms, a week means forever."

Hidan continued to mumble and grumble and shoot Kisame daggers at every second. Kisame fidgeted nervously before asking somewhat shakily (after all, everyone gets afraid of 'Raging Hidan with Rabies!'), "Why did you attack me in the first place, man?"

Hidan scowled and crossed his arms moodily. "Everyone knows a bouquet of fucking roses cost a dollar and seventy-five cents more than tulips, asshole. You spent more money on Red than on me, damn it!"

Kakuzu looked up in surprise at the albino. "I'm almost proud of you, Hidan. Almost…"

Kisame spluttered for a moment before regaining his composure and answering softly, trying to placate the fuming man. "I bought roses for Sasori because…you know…red roses…red hair…and um…I bought tulips for you because I heard that…uh…um…ugh…tulips are a…_manly_ flower and considering how…manly you are, I thought tulips would be good for you."

Hidan paused for a moment and Sasori let out a snort of laughter. Finally, the albino asked, "Tulips are a manly flower? You serious? You're not fucking around, are you bastard?"

Kisame made the dramatic act of putting on an innocent face and looking around before pointing to himself. "What? Me? Lying to you? I would never do that!"

"He loves you too much, Hidan…" Sasori trailed off before winking at the albino. "We _all_ love you too much…isn't that right, Kakuzu?"

Hidan shivered at the wink and Kakuzu looked at the shortest of the five incredulously. "_Love him_? Love _that_?"

It was Hidan's turn to sputter, and he rounded on the older man with flailing arms. "What the fuck is that supposed to mean? I'm completely fucking lovable and huggable, Goddamnit!"

Before it could turn into a full-scale battle, Pain (who was indescribably quiet) said, "Guys…?"

Everyone turned towards him. Sasori shot his best friend a smirk. "Talking again, eh, Pain?" The redhead asked lightly.

Pain offered everyone a sheepish and shaky looking grin. "Just thinking…" He muttered. "Um…well, Hitomi sent me an email today…" He looked around at his friends' anticipated faces (except for Kakuzu, who still looked rather miffed at the 'huggable' comment). "And she said she wanted to meet up…in person…"

They all paused to stare at the ginger-head before they all burst into excited chattering.

"That's great, man!" Kisame congratulated the younger man with a friendly slap to the back. Pain stumbled, but refrained from commenting.

"That's good," Sasori said. "Maybe you'll finally learn how to move on and hopefully get a life."

Pain scowled. "I am trying really hard to not be offended right now," he muttered under his breath.

Kakuzu was grumbling about anything and everything, and Hidan was bouncing on the balls of his feet, a manic grin plastered across his pale face. "Maybe you'll finally get fucking laid, eh, asshole?"

The pieced-man turned an interesting shade of red, and he spluttered indignantly, "On the first date? The hell, Hidan!" The albino shrugged and smirked innocently.

Sasori looked thoughtful as they entered the elevator. "Do you think you can last a whole date without going off and talking about Konan?"

The four watched in slight amusement and embarrassment as Pain more or less, broke down at his ex's name passing through the redhead's lips. "My beautiful…perfect…amazing…beautiful…Konan-dear…"

"I'm gonna take that as a 'no'," Kisame said, running a hand through his blue hair. The puppeteer scratched at his chin in thought as they filed out of the elevator. Once they stepped inside Pain's apartment complex (as Kakuzu demanded it be called), Sasori opened his mouth.

"When's this date of yours, Pain?"

The auburn-haired man looked up, his eyes slightly teary and his pierced bottom lip trembling slightly. Hidan watched in sadistic glee as Pain's dignity fell to the floor and broke on impact.

"Next Sunday…at six…"

"Damn…" Sasori muttered under his breath. Kisame looked up in question while Kakuzu and Hidan flopped onto the couch.

"What is it, Little Red?" The blue-tinted man asked.

"I thought that maybe, since Pain is still so obviously lost in the dark realms of being single," Sasori started dramatically and sarcastically with an eye roll. "One or two of us could…follow him on his date, to make sure he doesn't mess up."

Kisame thought about it for a moment before nodding in agreement. "That doesn't sound too bad…"

"But sadly," Sasori continued. "I can't go. I have a date." 

Everyone in the room looked up at him in shock (including Kakuzu). There was a brief silence in which everyone stared in bewilderment at their resident playboy, before Kisame broke the heavy quiet in a slightly shaky voice, "Heh…date…good one, Little Red…"

Sasori frowned. "I'm serious."

"You're going on a fucking date? What the hell?" Hidan asked crudely. Sasori rolled his eyes.

"What's so surprising about me going on a date? I can't date people now? Is that it?"

"It's not that…" Pain said, glad that the attention had been shifted away from him momentarily.

"It's just you usually have sexual intercourse with a person and leave it at that," Kakuzu stated blandly, ignoring Hidan's cries of "Say 'fuck' or 'screw', asshole! 'Sexual intercourse' is such an unsexy word!"

"So…?" Sasori asked, and everyone exchanged glances with one another.

"So it's just kinda weird, man!" Kisame exclaimed when no one answered. Sasori frowned and shrugged somewhat sheepishly, and Kisame grinned knowingly. "Aww…has Little-itty-bitty Red found someone special?" He asked in a sickening baby-voice.

Sasori flushed. "Shut up! _Little-itty-bitty_—get a life, moron!"

"So who's the fucker's name?" Hidan asked, sprawled out all over the couch, and Kakuzu just continued steaming in the corner as Hidan's smelly feet found a way into the brunette's lap.

Sasori scowled. "Don't call him a 'fucker'," he muttered before sighing in resignation. "…and his name is Deidara…"

Pain frowned in thought and played with one of his lip piercings. "Deidara…the name seems kind of familiar…"

Kisame cooed, and Sasori winced at how unmanly his friend seemed right now. "Aww! So sweet! The player, Sasori, finally begins to settle down…so how does this special person look like? And where can I send the thank you basket to?"

Hidan was obviously sharing the same thoughts as Sasori, because he snapped out, "Fuck! So Pain's not the only bastard who needs to find his inner-manliness!"

Kakuzu sighed and fished out the infamous notebook from his jacket pocket. He flipped through the almost completely filled up notebook with a slight look of melancholy on his face. "So does this mean that you're no longer a heart-breaker? Are your hormones finally coming to a rest…?"

Sasori sighed and rubbed at his messy hair before plopping down unceremoniously on a beanbag. "Stop talking about me like an animal…hormones…honestly. And no, I'm not coming to a stop…I'm just…testing out the waters right now. And Hidan, for once in your life, you are completely right! Kisame, you have lost whatever shred of respect I held for you. And Deidara's beautiful…with long blonde hair and bright, blue eyes…killer body…"

Sasori continued mumbling intelligibly to himself before looking up. Seeing Kisame, Pain and Hidan's amused expressions and Kakuzu's look of complete disgust and exasperation, he coughed pointedly, and in an attempt to draw the attention away from himself, he mentioned offhandedly, "He's best friends with Itachi."

It worked, because suddenly, Kisame was the stumbling fool. "Wubba, wubba…wubba, wubba…"

Kakuzu rolled his eyes and groaned loudly. "I'm surrounded by a bunch of lovesick loons."

"Agreed," Hidan said, eyebrows raised at the display before him. Kakuzu twitched slightly as the albino's feet shifted around in his lap before resting very closely to his crotch area.

"…Hidan…" Kakuzu growled out menacingly, and Hidan, completely ignoring all the warning signs, chirped, "What is it, asshole?"

"Get your smelly, filthy feet off my lap this instant." Hidan scoffed at the warning brewing underneath the older man's words.

"Like hell if I'm gonna listen to you, asshole."

Kakuzu began grinding his teeth together in a desperate attempt. "Get your smelly feet off my lap this instant before I rip out your innards and hang you up by your intestines."

Hidan smirked and stood up. Kakuzu quickly followed suit, so Hidan had to look up slightly due to the fact that the older man was slightly taller. "I'd like to see you fucking try, bitch."

Kakuzu looked ready to pounce on the albino and rip out his eyeballs, but Pain (seeing as Kisame was still currently disabled) quickly intervened. "Grow up, the two of you. And if you guys want to fight so badly, fight somewhere else. I'd much prefer it if my home was still in one piece and not in shambles by tonight."

The two grumbled and plopped down in their seats, muttering and glaring darkly at the other. Pain rolled his eyes and looked towards Kisame's direction just in time to see Sasori slap the bumbling man in the face.

"WUBBA!" Kisame cried out, and Sasori snorted.

"Is that going to be your catchphrase now?" He asked sarcastically, and Kisame rubbed at his bruising cheek, which matched really well with his other bruised cheek and black eye.

"Okay, so now we can work on…Pain's date," Sasori said, clasping his hands together. "I can't go, because…well…I have a date. Can you go, Kisame?"

The blue-tinted man sighed and rubbed at his head. "Wish I could, but I have to fill in for Itachi...ahh…ahem…that night. He's busy or something…"

Sasori groaned and rubbed at his head again. "Damn…"

"Why do I need your supervision anyways?" Pain demanded hotly, obviously very insulted at the fact that he needed to be stalked around during a date.

Sasori raised a brow at his friend, and said "Konan" in a very flat tone. The moment the blunette's name was uttered; Pain gasped melodramatically and kneeled down, mumbling "My dear, perfect, angelic…little Konan…" brokenly. The puppeteer rolled his eyes at the display.

"That's why…"

Kisame sighed and hauled the blubbering man up by the underarms before propping said man on a cleverly placed beanbag. "Well if I can't go…and you can't go…then…" His eyes quickly averted to Hidan and Kakuzu, and Sasori winced, but glanced their way as well.

"We will resort to desperation, then," Sasori stated monotonously. Kisame nodded in agreement, and Pain began drooling. Finally, Kakuzu and Hidan seemed to notice that they were being stared at, and they stopped glaring at each other long enough to look up. Kakuzu seemed to know exactly what was crossing through Sasori and Kisame's minds the moment he looked up, but Hidan remained oblivious.

"Shit…" Kakuzu muttered.

"Huh?" Hidan asked intelligently, and Sasori swallowed thickly before putting on a very serious face (even though the corners of his lips twitched) and leaning forward on his lime green beanbag.

"We're putting all our faith in you, Hidan-baby…"

Hidan just blinked.

"'The fuck—?"

-o-

**Awkward place to end…I know…I'm just so tired…ANYWAYS! (gets out of emo corner)**

**I promise to update as soon as I have the time! Pinky swear!**

**Thank you everyone! Love you all to super-tiny-mega-ultra tiny pieces! :D**

**Hugs,**

**Harmony**

**P.S. And **DancingPinkCows **reminded me…you know how I asked you guys to guess why Kakuzu's so against love? And how if you're right, I'll give you all hugs? Well, here you are! Hugs for EVERYONE! (Mostly cuz I like hugs, and also all of you are correct at some point…Kakuzu did have his heart broken…though at how I'm going right now…the situation isn't as tragic as you believe it to be…nope! No breakups or deaths! :D)**


	13. Friendly Outing

**Argh…I'm going through a slight rough patch right now. I blame the fact that school has started. Once school starts, all my creative juices stop flowing. T.T Sorry about that guys, but updates may be much slower…as I never seem to have free time now (school's only started a week and I already have two English essays (on worldwide creative mythology) and a Science test on Wednesday, not to mention a Math test tomorrow), and whenever I try to type something up…it turns out all wrong. But I'm working on it! I'm not giving up on this story, so don't worry about that (I love this story too much… :D) it's just that updates will be slower.**

**Sorry guys!**

**But other than that, enjoy this chapter! :D **

**And thank you again everyone for the review! We got like…20+ reviews for only the last chapter! That's so amazing! Thank you everyone! :D**

CHAPTER 13: Friendly-Outing

Deidara stood in front of the theatre and fidgeted. He felt unreasonably nervous for some reason, and he honestly just wanted to finish this 'date' as fast as possible. He sighed and ran a hand through his front bangs (a nervous habit) and looked down at the simple t-shirt, jeans and converse he wore.

_Maybe I should've dressed better—_

Sighing, the blonde shook the traitorous thoughts from mind. He didn't want to be on a date with Sasori, and he definitely did not want to impress the redhead. He was just here because he really wanted to see the play. Yep, that was all.

Deidara was so lost in his own internal musings, he didn't even notice when the cause of his conflicts sneaked up right behind him.

The blonde jumped when a pair of arms wrapped around his waist, and a light seductive voice whispered in his ear, "You look very sexy in your Mickey Mouse t-shirt, babe."

Deidara growled and pushed at the arms. Sasori let go with a light laugh, and Deidara whipped around to face him, shooting the puppeteer his most lethal glare. 

"You promised you won't try anything, yeah!"

Sasori sighed and put up his hands in mock surrender. "Right, right. Sorry. Just couldn't help myself…especially when you look like that, baby." He gestured to the sculptor's old, baggy Mickey Mouse shirt and his paint splattered jeans. Deidara arched an incredulous eyebrow.

"You've got to be kidding me," The blonde deadpanned, and Sasori shot him an innocent grin. 

"Nope, I am completely infatuated with Mickey-baby," the redhead more or less sang, and gestured to the opened doors where people were flocking inside. "Shall we?" He offered the amused Deidara his elbow, but the blonde just snorted and weaved past his waiting form.

"Let's just go, yeah." He muttered, and Sasori put down his pre-offered arm with a disappointed frown. Sighing, the puppeteer followed in after the fast-pacing blonde. Giving one of the workers their tickets, they were allowed into the theatre and quickly found their seats.

By the time they were seated, there was still fifteen more minutes before the show began, and Deidara was bouncing in his seat in excitement.

Deidara seemed to forget all hostility, and was talking at a rapid pace. "I can't wait until the show starts; it's going to be so amazing, yeah! I always loved Peter Pan. Of course, staying young forever seems to be kind of a stupid idea—"

Sasori perked up at that point. "What's wrong with the concept of staying young forever?"

Deidara looked at the redhead with a light frown. "Well, who wants to stay young forever, anyways? Staying young forever is just dumb. Aging so quickly is part of what makes life so amazing and beautiful, yeah."

"You're wrong," Sasori said, and Deidara was surprised at how much more serious the puppeteer seemed at this point. The usual playful glint in the redhead's brown eyes seemed to have completely vanished. "Things that stay forever is what true beauty is, that's why so many artistic masterpieces have stayed for centuries upon centuries."

Deidara frowned thoughtfully. "That's true, yeah. But after seeing the same thing over and over again, it just gets boring. That's why true art is fleeting, something transient and which disappears instantaneously. It's something that can never be copied ever again, and once you see it, it'll be stuck in your memory forever, yeah."

Sasori looked appalled. "True art is eternal, something that will last forever so that everyone can see it and enjoy it. And if art is fleeting, then what's the point of even making it? No one will be able to see it or enjoy it."

"But the people who see it will remember it for the rest of their lives, yeah."

"And then what? Once those people die, then no one will know about your 'art'."

"And that's what makes it beautiful!" Deidara declared, looking thoroughly frustrated and surprised at how different Sasori's definition of art was to his.

Sasori was about to snap back a reply when the lights began dimming, and a hush fell over the whole theatre. He sighed and leaned back in his seat while Deidara beamed, having got the last word.

"We'll talk about this later," Sasori grumbled, and Deidara scoffed before leaning forward as a puppet made its way onto the stage.

One thing that Sasori learned was that Deidara couldn't seem to stay silent during any performance. The blonde continued whispering to Sasori during the whole first half of the performance.

"Hey Sasori," Deidara hushed, and Sasori looked his way. "Did you make those puppets, yeah?"

Sasori looked to the stage at where Peter Pan and talking animatedly to Wendy. He took his time marvelling at how nice and realistic his puppets had turned out, before turning back to the blonde. "Yeah…"

"They're really pretty." Deidara whispered, and Sasori grinned at the fact that his crush had just complimented his art work. "Can I blow them up, yeah…?"

"What—?" Sasori yelped loudly at the thought of his masterpieces being blown into tiny pieces. The woman behind him shushed loudly. Sasori had the curtsy to blush faintly before sliding down his seat. "What the hell, babe?"

Deidara frowned at the nickname but continued. "Well, you said that puppets were your art, but since art is fleeting, it only makes sense if your puppets were fleeting too, yeah. So can I blow them up?"

"No!" Sasori whispered back harshly, and Deidara scowled before sliding down his seat as well.

"Fine…" He grumbled, and proceeded to ignore Sasori for the rest of the first half of the performance.

-o- 

"Do you like it so far, babe?" Sasori asked while handing Deidara a can of coke. Deidara nodded his thanks and opened the beverage, taking a sip, before answering.

"I really liked it…the speech is a bit too old-fashioned for my taste, but everything else is perfect, yeah." Sasori nodded in satisfaction, and Deidara hesitated before continuing. "And…um…thank you…for inviting me and giving me a ticket for the show, yeah. I really appreciate it." 

Sasori smirked, and gave the blonde a leisurely wink. "Anything for you, sexy."

Deidara scowled and took a big gulp of his drink, wincing at the cold. "Shut up, yeah…" He muttered, and Sasori leaned back with a chuckle before making his way back into the theatre. He gestured for the sculptor to follow. 

"We should go back to out seats," the redhead said casually. "The second half will begin soon."

Deidara smiled and bounded after Sasori, walking closely by the redhead.

-o-

"That was amazing!" Deidara was proclaiming loudly while the two walked down the sidewalk. "Did you see the battle between Peter Pan and Captain Hook? It was so cool, yeah!"

Sasori chuckled in amusement when the blonde began gesturing wildly, earning him strange looks. But the blonde either didn't notice them, or he ignored them. Sasori checked his wrist-watch and clucked his tongue. Seven-thirty-eight. Perfect…He allowed himself to briefly wonder about Pain's date and Hidan and Kakuzu…stalking him, before shaking the thoughts away and storing them to the back of his mind.

He'll worry about that after.

"So," Sasori interrupted to excited blonde. "Where do you want to go for dinner, babe?"

"Oh…" Deidara paused, and Sasori rolled his eyes cheekily before grabbing hold of the sculptor's arm and pulling them to the side so that they weren't blocking the whole sidewalk. "Um…do you know any good burger-joints around here, yeah?" 

"Burger-joint?" Sasori asked, raising a brow. "What? No five-star restaurant or something like that?"

"Well, I don't want you to spend too much money…" Deidara muttered. "And also, I don't like going to fancy restaurants for the first date…it gets all awkward, yeah."

Sasori paused and whipped around to face the blonde. Deidara blushed slightly at the close proximity but said nothing. Finally, Sasori let out a cocky smirk. "Did you just imply that we might have a second date?"

Deidara flushed, and his blue eyes became impossibly wide. "Don't be stupid! I didn't imply anything, yeah! You're imagining things! You drank too much coffee this morning! I didn't say anything, yeah! I was just telling you how I don't like going to fancy restaurants for first dates…with anyone! And this isn't a date, yeah! It's blackmail! You conned me into going with you—!" 

Sasori rolled his eyes in exasperation and clasped his hand over Deidara's opened mouth. "Okay, I get it, babe. This is just a one time thing, right? And you just happened to make your statement sound a lot like an implication."

Deidara nodded vigorously and pried Sasori's hand away from his mouth. "Yeah…I was just sharing information with you, yeah." Sasori smirked playfully and Deidara looked down to escape the intensity burning in his brown eyes. "And since I shared information with you…you now have to tell me about your first date preferences, yeah!"

Sasori smirked. "Why do you want to know, sexy?" He asked, leaning in even closer to Deidara. The blonde blushed and ignored it.

"It's only fair, since you know that I hate going to fancy restaurants for first dates, you have to tell me where you like to go on first dates, yeah."

"I didn't ask you to tell me about your first date preferences," Sasori basically sang, and Deidara scowled at his date.

"Just answer the damn question, yeah!" The blonde snapped, and Sasori chuckled in amusement before leaning back to get a good look at the frustrated blonde. Deidara, once again, ignored Sasori's intense chocolate-colored eyes.

"I wouldn't know," Sasori finally answered. "I've never been on a date before." He decided to leave out the fact that usually, he just fucked with someone and left it at that. He was better with the whole one-night-stand kind of thing than the long, serious relationship kind of deal.

Deidara's head snapped up, and he gave Sasori an incredulous look. "You…you've never been on a date before? But you're so…you know, yeah…"

"Hot? Sexy? Amazing?" Sasori asked with a cocky smirk. Deidara rolled his eyes.

"You're modest too."

"I don't hear you denying it." Sasori murmured happily, and Deidara looked away, pulling away from the redhead.

"Look, do you know any good burger-joints or not?" Deidara asked, and Sasori smirked before deciding to let the matter go. He glanced around, trying to recognize the area, before brightening.

"I know just the place," he said, and gestured for Deidara to follow him. "Let's go."

-o-

Deidara stared at the plate which housed his burger and fries. A chocolate-banana milkshake sat in front of him, but the blonde only had eyes for the plate before him.

"What?" Sasori asked, amusedly, over his own plate of burgers and fries and vanilla-milkshake.

"Um…this is a really big burger, yeah…" Deidara whispered. Sasori glanced down at their plates and had to agree with the blonde. The burger was easily the size of their head.

"It's really good, though," Sasori said, and Deidara nodded as the delicious smell of the burgers circulated around the diner.

"I don't think I can finish all this, yeah…"

"Bring it home then," Sasori offered, and took a big bite out of his burger. Tomatoes and lettuce fell from the other end, and some of the ketchup, mustard, and God-knows-what-other-sauces squirted out. Deidara's nose crinkled, and he smiled brightly.

"Nice." The blonde chirped, and Sasori rolled his eyes playfully before grabbing a napkin and wiping at the ketchup decorating his chin. The redhead gestured for Deidara to take a bite of his own burger. The sculptor looked hesitantly at his burger. He grabbed the burger, eyes widening in surprise at how heavy it actually was, before carefully taking a bite out of it.

No matter how cautiously and slowly Deidara had bitten into the juicy burger, it didn't help the fact that the ketchup and mustard flew from the other end of his burger and ended up splattering all over Sasori's shirt front. The two paused, and Deidara stared wide-eyed at Sasori's white shirt, which was now also red and yellow.

"Oops," Deidara offered meekly, and Sasori mock-pouted and pretended to be angry.

"You got me all dirty, babe," the redhead said, before making a huge show of using his fingers to wipe away some of the ketchup and mustard before sucking on his digits in a very suggestive manner. Deidara flushed and threw the ketchup bottle sitting on their table at him. Sasori failed to dodge and winced when the bottle collided with his head.

"Stop doing that, yeah!" Deidara snapped. Sasori rubbed at his forehead, his fingers which were still coated with ketchup and mustard succeeding in making his forehead red and yellow as well. Deidara snorted.

"That was nice," Sasori muttered, ignorant of the fact that his forehead was now rather colourful. "First you squirt sauce all over me, then you chuck a ketchup bottle at me. Very nice first date impressions, baby."

Deidara just nodded and refrained from telling Sasori about his forehead, and instead, took a huge bite out of his burger. He ignored when the tomatoes and lettuce fell out. "Sorry," he mumbled around his food, and Sasori just rolled his eyes before taking a bite out of his burger as well.

It was only when they called for the bill and the pretty waitress commented on Sasori's lovely forehead, that the redhead finally figured out why Deidara kept snickering throughout their whole meal. 

-o-

"I'm going to walk you home," Sasori demanded. Deidara whirled around and shot Sasori a flat look.

"No," he said firmly. At Sasori's questioning look, the blonde elaborated. "If you know where I live, you're probably going to start stalking me, yeah. And I do not want a stalker."

Sasori rolled his eyes in exasperation. "I'm not going to stalk you, silly." He said. "And besides, it's customary for me to walk you home, this is a date after all."

Deidara frowned. "It's not a date. It's a friendly-outing, yeah."

Sasori rolled his eyes, and when Deidara began walking to the direction of his home, the redhead obediently followed. Deidara didn't stop him.

The two walked in comfortable silence, and they both kept sneaking glances at the other. Finally, they reached a small house and stopped. Deidara walked up to the front porch, and Sasori followed. The blonde shot him a look.

"I'm not gonna invite you in, so don't even try, yeah," Deidara warned.

"Damn…" Sasori muttered jokingly, and Deidara rolled his eyes.

Finally, Deidara opened the door and turned around to face Sasori. "Thanks…for paying for dinner and the tickets and everything, yeah…" The blonde said, almost shyly, and Sasori shot him a genuine smile.

"No problem, babe. Like I said; anything for you." Deidara glanced up, somewhat surprised at how genuine Sasori sounded, before shooting him a grin. Sasori smirked back in return, turning back into the playful playboy Deidara knew him to be.

"Good night, babe…" Sasori trailed off and winked playfully at Deidara. The blonde bit his lip in contemplation when the redhead bounded off his porch before making a split-second decision.

"Wait!" 

Sasori turned around, curiously. "What?"

"Um…" Deidara seemed to hesitate as Sasori made his way back in front of him before continuing. "You know how you said you wanted to show me your art because I showed you mine, yeah?" The blonde asked hurriedly.

"Yes…?" Sasori prompted for Deidara to continue. The blonde blushed and did so.

"Okay, well you showed me your art, but I didn't really show you mine yet, yeah…"

Sasori shot Deidara a confused look. "But you make sculptures…?"

"Yeah…" Deidara trailed off. "I guess that's part of my art, but the true part of it is when I blow my sculptures and pottery up, yeah."

Sasori looked even more confused. "Why would you blow up your own artwork?" He asked, and Deidara shot him a slightly superior look.

"Because true art is fleeting," The blonde answered happily, and relished in Sasori's eye twitch. "So I blow up my sculptures so they can be true art, yeah."

"Okay…so?" Sasori asked, somewhat miffed at the 'true art is fleeting' comment. Deidara looked down at his hands, refusing to look at Sasori. The puppeteer cocked an eyebrow at Deidara's slightly embarrassed countenance.

"So I was wondering…" Deidara trailed off and took a deep breath before gushing out the next sentence. "If you would like to go with me sometime to see me blow up some sculptures, yeah. Then you'd know what true art is." He muttered the last part, and refused to look up until he heard Sasori's light, amused chuckle.

"Are you asking me out, babe?" The redhead asked with a smirk and twinkling eyes that were visible, even in the dim lighting. Deidara found himself staring in the twin brown orbs. Finally, the puppeteer's words registered in Deidara's mind, and the blonde spluttered in indignation.

"I…I'm not asking you out, yeah! I think you ate too much! You're brain probably broke. I am not asking you out, and I will never, ever ask you out because I don't even like you, yeah! I tolerate you, and that's only because you're my student…you-you're too perverted for your own good and it gets really annoying and you molested me several times…and it was really freaky, yeah! Plus you asked me to go to your bed after knowing me for thirty seconds, which just proves me point: you're either really perverted or desperate, yeah. And I'm scared if I stay with you for another minute, you'll rape—"

Sasori clasped his hand over Deidara's mouth again, and the blonde finally seemed to notice he was rambling, and ceased his talking. The redhead looked close to bursting out laughing, but managed to reign it in. "I'd love to go out with you again, _Deidara_…"

Deidara blushed and pried Sasori's hand away from his face. "That's good, yeah…" He mumbled and played with his bangs. Sasori smiled lightly. 

"So where do you usually…blow your sculptures up?" The redhead asked, and he looked thoroughly constipated at the thought of blowing your own artwork up. Deidara brightened visibly and began rambling again.

"Oh, there's this small clearing out of the city, a thirty-minute drive, yeah," the blonde was talking animatedly with wild hand gestures. "It's near the woods, but isolated enough that no one will catch you…because…you know, blowing up fireworks and using gunpowder is…illegal…" He murmured the last part, and Sasori shot Deidara a sly grin.

"Deidara-baby, you're such a naughty boy," the redhead teased the blonde with a seductive voice. "You need to be _punished_." He whispered, and Deidara flushed before backing up and walking into his house.

"Shut up, yeah…" The sculptor mumbled, and Sasori chuckled.

"Okay, okay," the redhead relented and dropped all seductive prefaces. "So when do you want our second date to be?"

Deidara's eyes widened and he scowled. "Friendly-outing," he corrected his 'date' half-heartedly before contemplating the answer. "Is Saturday evening okay? Let's say…six o' clock?"

Sasori went through his mental calendar before nodding in consent. "Where will we meet?"

"…Here, yeah?"

Sasori nodded again and shot Deidara a sly smirk. "Give me your phone number, babe."

Deidara reeled back at the bluntness on the puppeteer's end. "Why?"

"So I can call you if something comes up, baby…why else would I want your number?" Sasori spread his arms out innocently and shot Deidara an innocent look. The blonde rolled his eyes and gave Sasori his number before demanding the redhead to do the same, declaring it unfair that Sasori had his number but he didn't have Sasori's.

Once their numbers were exchanged and Deidara was satisfied, Sasori smirked and gave a slight wave to the blonde. "I'll see you on Saturday, babe. For your art lessons and our…_friendly-outing_."

Deidara nodded and gave Sasori a small wave of his own. "Bye, Sasori…"

Sasori stood there for a moment, before leaning over quickly. Before Deidara knew what happened, Sasori had bounded off his porch, and gave a small "Good night, babe" before disappearing.

Deidara frowned lightly and muttered "Pervert" under his breath, before lightly touching his still tingling cheek, and subconsciously promising to never wash his right cheek, ever again.

-o- 

**Done! At least, this chapter is. :D**

**Not exactly a steamy chapter filled with molestation, but poor-Dei needs a break! And also, Sasori promised to not try anything, and that redhead is a man to his word! And I feel as though this chapter was really cheesy…I can't help it! I'm a cheesy person. T.T But anyways…  
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**And yes, there will be another date between Deidara and Sasori. Yay! And yes! I also managed to squeeze in their art argument; I bet you were all wondering when that would happen. xDD  
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**The next chapter will be about Pain's date with Hitomi. I'm really nervous about that chapter because…well…Hitomi = OC. And I'm really hoping to make her not annoying and not Mary Sue-ish. D:**

**So…I should get started on the next chapter, and I hope you guys enjoyed this one!**

**Thanks guys! You all rock! :D And once again, sorry if the next updates are really, really slow.**

**Hugs,**

**Harmony**


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